How goes it...

2012-01-27T02:05:00.000-05:00

9/16/11- Easily one of the toughest days of my entire life. Saw my son laying down so helpless and being vented. His little heart seemed to beating on it's own but I didn't have the guts to take a look. I spent a few minutes at the bedside and balled my eyes out after leaving the unit. I know God is in control so I just let my words be few and give it all unto him. The very core of my faith, our faith, has been shaken but we are not broken because He lives and his word has told us that we will be alright.

I find it so ironic that I was actually reading the book of Job to Kyle on 9/14/11 which was supposed to be the original date of his surgery. It saddened my heart that I let what I saw completely floor me. I looked by sight once again. How could I? I questioned God even though I could not form the words, I did in my heart and my guilt was consuming me. Did my tears mean I did not trust my maker to do what He had said He would?

I could not allow any negative thoughts in at this time. Try as I did, there would be an occasional fleeting thought of doubt and so I decided to listen to music(mostly hillsongs, delirious, paul baloche, josh wilson, britt nicole etc). I hated that it seemed like I was deliberately trying to make things seem better but I have learned that when one is intentional about something, it can produce amazing and often times positive outcomes! It's such things that faith is made up of.

our amazing miracle, Kyle David

Kyle David

2012-01-01T10:04:00.000-05:00

So after hours of intense labor (don't want to go into all the details),my little or not so little Kyle David was born amidst a few tears and much joy and pride. He is absolutely beautiful! It amazes me how much joy fills my heart every time I look at him. How does a tiny being like that absolutely steal your heart in such a short time?

He is absolute perfection to me. This realization took me quite a while to come to. My idea of perfection was exactly what every one's was. Who was I to determine that perfection for the Maker Himself? It would be like telling a manufacturer that a product made was defective even if it is a different variation from previous models!

Throughout my pregnancy, my prayers have mostly been for God to fix my baby. You see, Kyle was born with a special heart which is being fixed for better circulation as I type. It might require about 4 or more surgeries over the course of his lifetime but I am rest assured that the master physician is at work so no worries there.

There are times when I wished I could be the one in his place. I wish I could feel his pain and calm him immediately with my touch. There have been moments like that where just picking him up and cuddling him just calmed Him right down and other times he just remained inconsolable until sucrose was introduced.( Apparently, sucrose is like crack to babies!)

Again, I feel like God is sending me on a journey because I have been telling Him that I am willing to move my feet. I am interested and very excited about where this one will take my little family unit. A friend of mine commented on how brave I was and all I could think of was the fact that God prepares us for testimonies and equips us in the process. This is by no means going to be the end of it I'm sure but why should I be consumed by anxiety when He has said he will never leave me nor forsake me?

Originally written 10/12/11

2011-12-21T02:46:00.001-05:00

Oh Mine, I have not blogged in forever! What happened here? It's called life, people. Lately, I can barely get any sleep after working 12 long hours. I used to not mind it so much but after Kyle, no way! It kinda sucks to be going back and forth and trying to pretend I care about a non-compliant diabetic when I'm thinking about my baby at home! I hope I rediscover my passion to provide amazing service to people especially this Christmas season.

Talk of Christmas, may your Christmas be filled with love, peace and hope and may the coming year bring you much appreciation for years past and give you a new enthusiasm to live life to the glory of God!

This is going to be our first Christmas as a little family and I'm excited about it. I usually don't do much to celebrate except do church and focus on Christ's birth and it's significance. I do want Kyle to experience the true meaning of Christmas and not emphasise the commercial aspect of it. I struggle a little with obliterating the whole idea of Santa Claus 'cos I don't want him to grow up being the one weird kid in class who tries to convince the other kids that Santa really is daddy in disguise!(or mummy in some cases). Oh well, he'll survive it. I did! haha

We are celebrating milestones for Mr K. and he is already changed so much since birth! God is just amazing! Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year to you all!

life going on

2011-12-07T23:26:00.001-05:00

You know how everyone thinks they have the best mum in the world? Well believe it or not, mine is the very best! Now before you snicker, make a face and stick your tongue out, remember this blog is mine so you are reading my thoughts and opinions( sticks my tongue out). So mama left on the second for Ghana after being with me for a while. You see, they say you never know what you've got until its gone and I have never really had to live this saying until now. I wish I knew how to clone! Brings tears to my eyes anytime I think about how she mothered me through the last weeks of pregnancy until she left

Anyways, my Kyle is 3 months already and he is awesome! What a blessing he is to us. I could be having a terrible day but a simple smile from him makes it all better. Someday, I will explain what seeing Kyle smile does to my heart.

Blessimgs all mine...

2011-11-24T08:32:00.001-05:00

This year's Thanksgiving feels extra special 'cos I have my hubby,baby and mummy with me. I have never really done much for Thanksgiving except go visit whichever family wanted to host us and this year is no different.Sometimes I feel like I need to put more effort into the day than I do but gratitude is all that I feel all day long.

I am thankful for all my blessings even those that are disguised as trials. Sometimes we are so busy focusing on the negative things happening in our lives that we forget all the good that have come our way. It is almost as if the few bad times erase all traces of good and then we tend to zoom in on that little bit of negative energy. The shadows will almost always make the figures lurking in the dark seem ginormous but be rest assured that in the truth of God's light, you will be able to see every situation at its regular size and your God will always be bigger than your problems combined.

May His grace be sufficient for you as your heart is filled with gratitude this Thanksgiving. May we continue to have many reasons to be thankful always! Happy Thanksgiving!

Back Then

2011-11-07T18:19:00.001-05:00

As my story goes, it seemed I had seen my fair share of pain and disappointment but life had to go on. Come January 6 2010, I had another positive pregnancy test. I was apprehensive of this result. I took maybe a million more after that just to be sure it was right. All the subsequent ones were quite positive. "Darn it, here we go again", I thought. On January 19, 2010, I had my first OB appointment and my doctor figured I was probably 5 weeks along. On February 15, 2010 my heart absolutely sunk as we were told at the appointment that we are possibly going to lose this baby too. No kidding! Can you imagine being all excited about something only to find out you are not going to have the very thing you crave after all.

In my journal, my husband made this entry: Today we found out we are possibly losing our baby. It is sad but we are assured God is in control. How does one prepare for the worst and hope for the best at the same time. It is enough to give anyone a broken heart and mine was completely shattered into pieces. I didn't want to utter the words that I was done with wanting to have a baby but I thought about it all the time. Why put myself through such an ordeal again? To me it was all pointless! At this point, I had pretty much given up but still tried to hold on to hope. I'm telling you a little bit of hope is all that's needed sometimes.

The physical and emotional pain of a miscarriage can not really be compared to anything else. It left me completely broken and my emotions were just raw. Everything made me cry! The worst part was returning to work where there were other pregos!

mama, my friend and confidant

2011-10-17T19:08:00.000-04:00

She's prayed with me in the wee hours of the night
She's hugged me and wiped my tears
She's given me advice and spoken words of wisdom
Her faith has carried me through
Her beliefs have challenged mine
Her life has been a living example to me
Oh mother of mine who feels my pain
Mother dearest who weeps and griefs with me
Mother who's empathy is beyond my understanding
May all who have an encounter with you
Know the love you give without reservation
May those who have none get to know mine
I pray for love as deep and passionate as yours for my child

2011-10-12T09:56:00.001-04:00

I will never return to this place
My place of solitude and comfort
I have found a new place
It may not be as familiar
But it has become my home
My new normal
Forged out of necessity
Carved after much thought
This life is completely changed forever
That's the beauty of it though
This consistency in change

life and milestones

2011-10-05T06:48:00.001-04:00

I just realized it is actually my birthday today. I always look forward to this day with much anticipation and reflection. Today, all I could think about was the fact that a month ago (28 days to be exact), God granted me the joy of experiencing childbirth. It is quite profound and I can not explain the amount of love that fills my heart when I look at my son.

I don't think anyone has ever made me want to just give all I have to make them happy in just a month. It made me wonder if that's how it is with God's love. So full and completely unmerited. I am humbled by the lessons I am being taught. How patient God must be! I am beginning to understand what it means to be long suffering.

Lord grant me the grace to accept the blessings you bestow on me, to be patient with the lessons you are teaching me, to utterly trust in Your plans for my life and help me to live in Your will.

My desire

2011-09-30T17:21:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting here contemplating on whether to let you in on the rest of my story or not. In a way, I feel like it might be leaving my emotions too raw but it is my therapy and my way of articulating what I'm going through.

So as the rest of it goes. We were super excited about this pregnancy even though it was not exactly planned. After all, we had been married 2 years now. In our African culture you're expected to have a baby 9 months after the nuptials!

Two days later, I started bleeding a little and then it turned into heavy and heavier bleeding still. I was so scared I thought I would go crazy. I drove myself to the ER and was told I was going through a miscarriage. Darn it! "Why me?". I held my composure while sitting in the ER and I had never felt so alone in my entire life! Hospitals are some of the most lonesome places in the world and without family present, it's even worst. I called my husband to let him know what was happening and he came over to be with me.

Now you might wonder if I never felt the presence of God enfolding me with warmth in that moment. All I did was focus on the sadness and the pain I was feeling in that instant. I wish I had known then what I do know now; that he knows my name, He knows my every thought, He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call.

Say what? Circa JULY 2009

2011-09-18T15:32:00.000-04:00

I am about to take you on a very personal journey. It might be difficult to read my blog from today forward but i hope and pray that it will be a great source of encouragement and upliftment for you. Come with me to way back in 2009 ...

July 10, 2009
No I am not! Really? Oh my God! Well I stopped taking it back in January! Oh my goodness. That is so precious!

Yes, this was me this afternoon at the clinic I volunteer at after I found out that yes indeed, I am preggers! I have done several pregnancy tests on other women and if any of those test had a deep line and a faint one as bold as mine, I definitely would have concluded that they were pregnant so why was I doubting mine? I had another nurse check with me just to be sure! I mean it's not like we have not been trying. Oh trust me, we have!

For some reason, I expected to know the exact moment of the conception of my sweet pea. We had been talking about babies so much lately that God must have decided we were ready! ahaha... Wow, I am still so excited I just want to do cartwheels. I told Thomas that today and he goes "is that safe for the baby?" Dork!...lol... uhm, before baby, I was, is and still AM!... You should have seen his face. He looked like he had just had a great meal or received his dream job offer! So cute!

When I found out, I could not contain it. I felt like I was going to burst. I had tears in my eyes, I could not keep my voice down. I walked around with a bounce and a spring in my step. My baby! A part of me! A person consisting of a part of Thomas and I! I had to tell him even though I knew he would not be able to concentrate at work. So I went to the volunteer common room, took my phone out of my bag and started dialing. First try, no answer, second try:

Tomeister: Hello(in an almost whisper meaning Tomtom is in a meeting). Hey sweetie, Is everything ok, I figured if you were calling for the second time something must be up
Me: Guess what? Uhm, the test was super positive!
Tomeister: What test
Me: The pregnancy test
Tomeister: Oh really? wow, it's as if we knew before though didn't we? wow, I want to come home.
Me: hahaha... I'm at the clinic anyways so will see you later at home. I love you honey
Tomeister: I am so excited I can not go back and concentrate. OK will see you soon. Love you!

I know I was not all mushy about it but inside, I'm telling you I was ready to burst! The rest of the day went by in a blur. We went to Barnes and Noble to get a pregnancy book and then I got a pregnancy journal! I am chronicling every bit of this experience as much as I can. Thank You Lord for this Blessing, thank you for my sweet little pea. Oh Thomas said something very thoughtful tonight. He said " Now I am a Man! I have been walking around in this sort of boy-man state but today, I feel like a man". I love this man, a lot!

learners block...

2011-08-31T17:54:00.000-04:00

I am learning
I have learned
I will be learning
Currently, I am learning!

I know not everything
I know a lot of things
Some things I have stored away
A few things tucked in my memory

I am learning
Deciphering the very nature
Of things known and unknown
Learning to accept and reject

You're teaching me
Imparting wisdom and knowledge
Of things I thought I knew
Like a sponge I'm absorbing it all anew

Help!!! Hospital Bag!

2011-07-28T13:46:00.000-04:00

So I have checked out different sites and this is probably what my hospital bag is going to consist of. Please feel free to add to or let me know if certain items are unnecessary. Thanks. Keep praying us through. At minimum we have about 4-5 weeks left! Yikes!

· Insurance card, ID, any consent forms previously given,

· birth plan

· Old nightgown

· Slippers or slipper socks

· Laptop loaded with relaxing music and perhaps a DVD or two

· I-touch, cellphone with chargers

· Bible

· Junky magazines (like Cosmo)

· Camera

· Video Camera?

· Snacks for hubby and mama

· Toiletries (toothbrush, paste, hairbrush, conditioner, body wash, body and face lotion, deodorant, mini loofah)

· Shower sandals- flip flops for mama, hubby and me

· Nice comfy towel

· Junky undergarments

· Nursing pillow, boppy

· Nursing-appropriate bra or tank

· Sanitary pad, underwear

· Breast pads- buy some disposable ones for now

· Nursing-appropriate PJ

· Hair bands, pony holders

· Comfy clothes & toiletries for mama and hubby

· Snacks? Granola bars etc

· Comfy outfit to go home in (NOT pre-pregnancy size)- tube dress, shorts and tanks, low heeled sandals, sunglasses, makeup bag

· Coming home outfit for baby + swaddle blanket + car seat + pediatrician’s number

Hmm, I think that's pretty much it. Yes, ladies, say buh-bye to tampons for a long time! haha.

The road to motherhood

2011-07-22T18:43:00.000-04:00

I am well on my way and there's a lot to pack for this trip; or so I have been told. There are all kinds of books, advice from people from all manners of life but of course as usual, it is a customized trip and mine might be different from the next person's even though the experience might be similar. I've had mixed feelings ranging from happy to downright depressed but through it all, I've learned to take each day at a time.

So yes, I am on the the road to motherhood. My destination might be expected or unexpected and mine, what a wonderful delight that would be! We will find out in about 4-7 weeks! Oh how the time flies! Truth be told, it scares me at times but if God has entrusted me with this then I am willing to learn and do my best.

must have a had a big lunch! hehe

ps: I just realized that parenthood is a perfectly great way to ruin or build a persons life from scratch!

Willful

2011-06-29T15:46:00.000-04:00

She walks around like a ghostly figure
Wishing for her own demise
No desire to live her life to the fullest
As if it was by mistake that she happened upon this earth

She pushes her life to the limit
Wishing death to claim her if he may
But even that request falls on deaf ears
For death has no claim over her life

What makes such a person lose all hope
To cease to exist in this lifetime
If only I could take a peak into her brain
Perhaps I might gain some understanding

Likely a vague insight into her being
A fleeting wish to live, maybe
For now I'll treat her with empathy
This shadowy figure might retreat no more

My Joy is Crank!

2011-06-16T18:43:00.000-04:00

Who are these people
These self made gods
The so called authority in their fields
Laughable miniature gods

Who gave them this power
To make these utterances
As if they came into being by their will
Annoying know it alls

What I hear makes me cringe
What they say render me almost faithless
But I've been there and through that
These creatures haven't experienced my joy

Look by sight and it is overwhelming
The darkness engulfing my very being
Look by faith and all is calm
The Sun warming my very core

Status Posts

2011-06-11T10:24:00.000-04:00

I was going through my facebook news feed the other day and liking and smiling or laughing out loud at which ever hilarious ones caught my attention and then it dawned on me "many of these people have very inspirational status updates!". Just the other day I went through these updates again and realized that people are quick to update when whatever they have read that morning be it on www.rbc.org or what other website is perceived to be for their neighbor and not them! For instance, one such update read "Gossip ends at a wise person's ear". Now you can be sure a great number of people had this update forgetting that if they themselves do not gossip others will not bring it to their doorstep!

I wonder why people don't include the updates which talk about reaching out and witnessing to others or living in such a way that your life becomes a living testimony of God's grace. Just a thought :-)

Forget Me Not

2011-06-01T11:35:00.000-04:00

I began to wallow in this deep dark feeling
I blamed, I cursed, I saw no end
No silver lining, no light at the end of the tunnel
If it was there, I sure was missing it
Probably because I was wallowing in this deep dark feeling

I always thought I was one to come out of it
Unscathed or perhaps with a few scars to show
I didn't think I would be the walking advertisement,
The very poster child of this ingratitude
An ingrate in the making, as if nothing good had ever happened to me

I felt overtaken, overshadowed by my unbelief
Then I begun to see a glimmer of hope
Out of the darkness came my light
Aha! what a little hopeful thought can do
My heart felt free from and my spirit begun to soar

Again I begun to remember all that He said;
I will never leave you nor forsake you
Do not be consumed by anxiety
Each day has enough worry of it's own
Baby steps, one day at a time

Now I am not wallowing
There are days when those fleeting thoughts intrude
There are sunny days dotted with clouds overhead
But I will not wallow in that place
I am not alone, He's there and He's not going away!

Stuck On You

2011-05-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

I must confess that I am going through a period of writer's block again. I have run out of things to share with my readers and it really bothers me to no end :-? Sorry folks! I think my problem is that I do not want to disappoint myself with mediocre and offensive writing. Anybody going through a moment like this?

The past week was pretty depressing for me and I finally fell completely apart a couple days ago after talking to my dad. He is absolutely the sweetest person and he always speaks encouraging and affirmative words to me. It made me sad to look at people's photos and see them together with their families. A part of me longed for that period in my life when my whole family was together and the nostalgia just overwhelmed me.

I feel a lot better now but as I wistfully wished for better family connections, it made me realize that I missed being in close proximity to my "friends" as well. Distance and different experiences have drawn some of us apart but if you have been a friend to me in the past or presently, thank you! It does mean the world to me :) Have a great week y'all!

Wonder

2011-05-04T08:57:00.000-04:00

On track, off track
Somewhere in between
Choices, engagements
Plans to be made
Decisions arrived at without much thought
Right ones, wrong ones
The die is cast
Any more options?
How will events proceed?
I know not, but I can not
Forget who's in it with me
Never alone, anxiety relieved
Standing here in and on His promises

My Ransom

2011-04-22T16:41:00.001-04:00

In Christ alone, who took on flesh, fullness of God in helpless Babe!This gift of love and righteousness, scorned by the ones He came to save.‘Til on the cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied.For ev’ry sin on Him was laid; here in the death of Christ I live.

It's that time of the year again and I am remembering the turmoil that Christ must have endured inwardly in coming to the decision to die for my ransom. It gets me every time I think about it. This single act in history holds so much mystery to it and I am drawn to it like a moth to a flame! Thank you Jesus for dying in my place. Thank you that the chastisement that brought me peace was laid upon you!

Easter is not about candy :p Have a reflective weekend on the sweetness of His grace!

gossip, kokonsa, chisme ...

2011-04-15T13:04:00.000-04:00

... Gossip is an evil thing, much unhappiness it brings. If you can't say something nice, don't talk at all is my advice ... (Not sure who the original author is)

I learned the words of this chorus back in Junior high and I still remember it to this day. It really changed my outlook on a lot of so called "discussions". One of my friend's status on facebook the other day was "if you stay long enough to hear negative and malicious things about someone, what makes you think the same won't be going on behind you?

I don't want to focus on the malicious aspect of gossip alone. I realize that by making the previous statement it implies that some aspect of gossip is good. Is that true at all? Does it mean then that if what is being said is "nice", then it is alright? Hmmm, just wondering.

stuff that drive me nuts!

2011-04-05T10:12:00.000-04:00

The week has just begun and already I feel like the weight of the world is resting on my tiny shoulders. I am not going through anything per se but I have just heard bad news from a couple friends, some random strangers and sometimes you can't help but share in the burden of others. But again, I refuse to let that keep me from screaming and shouting "Thank You, Jesus" for your loving kindness and for your steadfast love!

I am once again reminded of God's love just as the Psalmist(David) wrote in Psalm 124. I suppose at times it is very difficult to accept what is and continue to give thanks as well but how soon we forget about all the other good things that have come our way. Some of us have developed a complex because we think we are entitled to "good-ness" in life and others deserve what they get. Who the heck are we to think that way?

I pray each of us will be reminded of God's grace through this week when we are tempted to lament and cuss under our breadth when we feel like life has been unfair in one way or the other. God Bless!

PEACE

2011-03-27T21:26:00.000-04:00

I have been pondering over Psalm 23 today and thought about the content of this email that circulated a while ago and figured I would share with y'all.

THE 23RD PSALM BROKEN DOWN

The Lord is my Shepherd ~ Relationship

I shall not want ~ Provision

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures ~ Comfort

He leadeth me beside still waters ~ Peace

He restoreth my soul ~ Healing

He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness ~ Guidance

For His name sake ~ Purpose

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ~ Trials & Testing

I will fear no evil ~ Protection

For thou art with me ~ Faithfulness

Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me ~ Assurance

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies ~ Deliverance

Thou anointest my head with oil ~ Consecration

My cup runneth over ~ Abundance

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life ~ Grace

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord ~ Security

Forever ~ Eternity

Can you imagine sitting in the presence of your enemies while enjoying a good meal in comfort? I think the Psalmist painted this vivid picture to depict God's providence and also his(David's) trust in the promises of God that He would be with Him no matter what. It gives me such great peace to know that such an awesome God cares for me!

VERSATILE & STYLISH BLOGGER AWARD

2011-03-23T17:05:00.001-04:00

I got this award a little while ago from prettykay (Thanks girl!) and I guess I missed passing it on. If you're reading this you're tagged. The rule is to say 7 things about yourself which I think I have done in two previous posts but I could do it again :-)

1. I'm a great wife if I do say so myself. (You better agree Honey!) hehe
2. I am also a girly girl and make no apologies for it. (Yeah I love pinks, purples, blues, shoes, getting my hair did, make-up, dresses, shopping etc). Why would I deny I'm a girl? ha!
3. People always guess I'm between 18-23! Very fluttering!
4.I love life!
5. I wish I were more passionate about my faith than people see. I love Jesus with a passion and I am unapologetically christian!
6. I love being a nurse but I'm not sure if I love my current job
7. I believe I am meant for greatness and I am still in the process of letting that manifest in my life :-)

shoppers paradise

2011-03-17T18:42:00.000-04:00

So I went shopping the other day for long spring-y/summer-y dresses and came across a very pretty grayish/pewter/ash colored dress that caught my eye right away. For some unknown reason, I always look at the tag to see where it is made and before even checking out the fabric care. We all know it sucks to buy that dress which requires dry cleaning when you have no intention of dry cleaning it.

Anyways, imagine my surprise when I realized the dress was made in (drum rolls please...) KENYA! I wanted to scream "I am African and this dress right here is from my continent, y'all. Booyah". I know that's a little extreme but can you imagine going into a shop like Charming Charlie and finding a dress made in Kenya? It just made my entire day! I'll be sure to put a photo up when I wear! Looking forward to the day when I find made in Ghana stuff being sold commercially in American shops. Now that will be epic!

What is the ratio?

2011-03-09T10:34:00.000-05:00

Today as I waited to give report before leaving work, a certain someone showed up lamenting about budget cuts and how Teachers are losing their jobs. I was very sad and a little amused at the same time. I think Teachers deserve better and should not have to lose their jobs in order for someone's budget quota to be met but the thing is, a lot of people suffer this kind of injustice in their owrk place day in and day out.

The said person kept going on and on about how they want teachers to teach a class of 60 kids! Now I had to pause and munch on this for a minute because growing up, some of my classes were bigger than 60 and some of theses folks from these classess of 60 are some of the most brilliant people I have ever met. She went on to talk about how the level of education will drop etc. Maybe the so called developed countries can learn a thing or two from the "developing" countries when it comes to what makes these huge classes work. Perhaps because of the large sizes, no one has the time to lable us as bipolar, ADD, ADHD and whatever alphabets there are and so we are saved from the stigma at such an early age.

I have not conducted any research into how the student teacher ratio affects the learning habits or the intellect of young minds yet but if all humans are considered "almost" equal, then dear readers, as a person from the so called "developing" country, I have been done a great disservice and my education has surely been in vain. Maybe it did teach me to pay better attention in class so that I would not be lost in the crowd. Perhaps it did teach me a thing or two about disciplining myself and holding myself to a certain standard so that I do not fall into the bottom third or two thirds of the class.

I am not saying that the workload is easy or that it is justifiable to put these teachers in these situations. I am just peeved that anyone can suggest that a teachers ability to motivate or encourage students to learn will diminish depending on the class size. Oh well, once again, my opinion ;p

OSCARS?

2011-03-01T12:16:00.000-05:00

So I suppose I'm not the only one that snoozed through the Oscars this year. I must say I was very excited and looking forward to it especially after seeing Hugh Jackman's presentation two years before and even though I didn't care much about the Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin combo, I hoped this year will be much more exciting. I was even more excited after seeing the opening video and Anne Hathaway was awesome but what happened to James Franco?

It was as if someone hit the snooze button on him. He just seemed a little out of it if you ask me. Maybe the tension of being a nominee got to him and the whole pink dress thing just did not do it for me. Now I'm not saying he did not do a good job. He did somewhat of an OK job but he was a real let down and I felt bad for Anne Hathaway because it seemed like she ended up bearing the weight of hosting and making things lively all on her own. Grrr...

Anyways, why do I even care? I just know that I would be mad if someone let me down like that but then again, it's all a matter of opinion and that's my take : D... and I want Mila Kunis' dress too!

Oh before I forget, I have some exciting news for the blog soon. Might be like another month yet for the prep but look forward to it. Have a blessed week y'all!

love machine

2011-02-14T14:35:00.001-05:00

Happy Love Day, Y'all! I hope you all have beautiful surprises from beginning to end but don't let the loving stop there. I hope you all experience what it feels like to love and be loved. Words from the Boo this morning :

"I love you, I love this journey we are on simply because it is you I am travelling with. I love how you challenge me and how easily I am able to be myself with you. I love you always."

Now how am I supposed to keep from being in love with a love machine like that. He spews these lyrics every so often too! I tell you love turns the everyday man into a poet! ha!

It is

2011-02-08T06:46:00.000-05:00

Some have prepared for it
Others have struggled with it
A few are dealing with it
Yet still many are oblivious to it
I have chosen to embrace it
Full on with no regrets to it
If I am going to live it
Then I purposefully will love it
This is my lifetime isn't it...
I will live every bit of it

love-o-meter

2011-01-24T10:10:00.000-05:00

I know a couple who struggled for 8 years to have a baby and I also know of another who got pregnant 3 months into their marriage without much planning at all. Now I know that each of these parents are very excited about their baby and they show them off proudly to family and friends. I have been wondering if the level of love for each is different though. After all the first couple had to struggle for 8 years. I can imagine the stress, the uncertainty and possible ridicule whether obvious or not, that they had to endure.

Does that mean the second couple love their baby any less? They might have had to process the implication of having a child right after getting married and the implication of that on their newly established home. Would that put a strain on their marriage and as such on their relationship with their child?

I guess in essence, I am trying to figure out if the amount of love, care and attention given to each child is affected by the circumstances or the environment of the parent prior to their birth. Just wondering :)

Zodiac Schmoziac

2011-01-14T10:20:00.001-05:00

Who cares about horoscope? Seriously, I had no idea people were that into their horoscopes and the bearing of that on their lives. I didn't even know what zodiac sign I was until maybe Junior high or senior high. After I found out it did not change my perspective on life or what path my life was going to take. How does this have any bearing on my existence or what what I do with my life?

If you have no idea what I am talking about, you can check this out. Apparently the Zodiac signs based on the constellations is changing and a thirteenth might be added because the position of the sun is no longer in the same spot it used to be when the signs were made. Hmm.. does that mean that if the earth's axis has shifted and Ghana is in the spot Korea used to be it makes me Korean now? I think it is kind of silly really. Talk about the influence of suggestion. So I am no longer a Libra but a Virgo. Uhm... big deal! (Shake my head).

People are always seeking individuality but I guess deep down we really want that sense of belonging. Why else would anyone get mad because their personality no longer fits into one of 12 categories created. Oops sorry I guess you can not be Miss World now because you're no longer a Virgo? Be careful out there today people. The world is in an identity crises!

We're In

2011-01-04T18:07:00.001-05:00

Another year has begun and people are making new year's resolutions and beating themselves over the head for failing on last year's. I stopped making resolutions in 2009... I think. I am not sure if that is exactly a bad idea. For some, it gives the inspiration to accomplish goals and aim higher but for me, I have simply chosen to live in the moment. I simply want to thank God for allowing me to make it into another year. He must trust me with His time so I am going to try to live in the moment and enjoy it. That in itself is a resolution I suppose.

I am working on adding a fashion segment to this blog. If that is possible, I will let you know. I hope everyone is having a great year so far. Happy New Year! God Bless! God speed! Be resolute in your resolution :)

Walking side by side

2010-12-30T11:33:00.000-05:00

These past few years have had their fair share of bliss
There have been moments of pain in this dark abyss
Unspoken words in times of fear
You've been my comfort through it, dear
Today the fourth year begins
Maybe we might yet make our twins
I know how much that scares you
That's no cause for you to be blue ;p
Wherever life takes us
We'll be ready in this mess,
This three strand cord
Him, you and I with one accord

Happy anniversary to my Honey Boo!

Love Culture

2010-12-16T07:28:00.000-05:00

I feel your love
I'm experiencing the thrill
I am caught up in this
The heaviness of this wave
That's tossing me and bending me
Beneath its warm and powerful curl
I'm loving this
This ride of a lifetime
Don't know when or how
It does not matter to me
I am fully aware that you are in this
All I can do is stare
Allow it to take over my mind, body, soul
Hmm, the way you love me
This has become my way of life

Annyong!

2010-12-13T09:51:00.000-05:00

So for the past month I have been a little busy. It's not so much been with work or life per se. I have been busy watching soaps. I don't mean the kind that go on for a lifetime. Just simple lovely drama that is relatable and gives me pure joy! I think one of the reasons why I got hooked on these dramas was the same reason why I got hooked on Twilight. It made me remember how I felt when I started dating and all the joys and thrills, the fears and insecurities I experienced.

My current obsession with Kdramas (Korean drama) started after I was blog surfing one day and came across a review of one such drama and the rest is pretty much history. I was sold hook, line and sinker. If you're looking for something refreshing other than the everyday "sexified" drama we see on our TVs, then you are welcome to the wonderful world of K Drama. You can thank me later ;p

Night Sky

2010-11-30T02:19:00.000-05:00

We lifted off into the dark night
Past the jet black clouds onto another dark lit stage
Stars hang up in the background to give it some character
This metal bird was way up in the sky
And I felt so small suddenly
I stared deep into the darkness as if willing Him to appear
There in the horizon, behind thick dark clouds
Peeped beautiful silvery ones
What a wonder to behold in this blanket of darkness
Very soon we make our downward descent
From these lofty heights one fluffy dark cloud at a time
City lights begin to permeate this comforting gloom
How thankful I am to be in awe of Your wonders :)

Keep it hot!

2010-11-10T11:16:00.000-05:00

Just a few days ago, a friend of mine was lamenting about keeping it hot between her and her man and balancing all that with work and kids. It was more like a complaint about monotony of being in a monogamous relationship. It kind of made me sad for a minute but I guess to a certain extent it can be a little tedious for luck of trying to keep the romance alive. She said "We dated for five years and have been married the rest". I have my personal opinions but I wonder what other people think? What has kept people going? What are some of the resources out there? Over the past few months, these websites( love actually and the intimate couple ) have been great resources for me.

Sometimes, some of the suggestions from these helpful tools may seem pretty trivial and even silly but I figure with the amount of effort I put in at work, if I try to put that much into my marriage, I can't go wrong at all :) I hope everyone is having a great week! Blessings!

Obsessive compulsion

2010-11-03T11:36:00.001-04:00

Has any thought ever consumed your whole being so much so that it is all you can think about day in and day out? The idea or thought or feeling just plagues you to the point where you are absolutely and completely blinded by anything else and even when you are able to think clearly, it is not without glimpses of the very idea/thought clouding your vision! No? No one has ever had that happen to them? Oh boy, I'm in trouble then! hahaha

By the way, hair update coming soon! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, refer to this post. Hope everyone is having an amazing week! Blessings!

The Walk

2010-10-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

She sashays, she sways

Head high, no lye

They stare, at her hair

She cares less, for their guess

She sashays, she sways

One step, no misstep

Determined, to be awakened

Life anew, as she grew

She sashays, she sways

His providence, her new confidence

Just as she is, that is His biz

The Creator’s translator

She sashays, she sways

Head high, as they come nigh

They wonder, at her personality

She ponders, it’s a mentality

She sashays, she sways

Slight grin on her face

She is here to stay

Within His grace

Back to the basics

2010-10-18T13:02:00.001-04:00

I've been reminded again of what my life's focus has been these past few years. Ever heard of the saying "the will of God will never take You where the grace of God will not protect you"? What does it really mean to be in the will of God. We always pray "Your will be done on earth..." but do we ever mean it in that sense?

I think most people are usually hung up on the notion that surely their will is their God's will and ofcourse He wants for them whatever they want. Some of my favorite verses in the Bible include the part where Jesus was praying in the garden of Gethsemane before the betrayal and crucifixion. In Luke 22:42 he asked his father if this intended fate could be taken away from him but the most amazing part is that he prayed "not my will but Yours be done". Aren't you glad he let the father's will be done? Otherwise you and I know that our salvation will for sure not have been complete!

I have been so put off lately by the kind of prosperity preaching and inspirational mantras thrown around by preachers lately. Some of them make it seem like if you go through a difficulty in this life then God has failed you. Seriously! When are we going to return to our manual for life (mine's the Bible) and realize that His grace is sufficient for us and in times of difficulty we can proudly say with conviction "I know it seems like my whole world is crumbling right now, yet Your will be done?" Even if I don't see any positives right now, yet will I praise You because it's in Your will for me to be in this moment, right now.

Just wondering if you have thought about His Will and if you are in His will at all.

Feline Life

2010-10-11T08:58:00.000-04:00

I was reading a book (The Ambler Warning- Robert Ludlum) and came accross the saying "Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought her back". Now that just made my smile very broad indeed!

Alright people, time of the year to make sure you're feeling your TATAS for lumps and bumps before you leave home with them pumped up! I know to some of you this is quite a foreign notion but if you don't know what to look out for, how can you know if there's something that's not supposed to be there? Go ahead and take care of them boobies :) Get curious about them and you might end up saving your life!

Let's Eat Cake

2010-10-05T10:36:00.000-04:00

Another year is here

Haven't even thought about eating cake

I want some anti-aging eye cream

And perhaps a botox injection or two
Trying to slow down this process

Maybe I'll give Priscilla Presley some competition

But really what good will those do me?

If some soul searching has not taken place...

Have I lived the year as best as I could

Did I give of myself as much as I could

Deep thoughts and prvocative questions

Hmm... I'll by all means have some cake :)

Say what?

2010-09-27T11:46:00.000-04:00

I got done getting ready and took one last look in the mirror and thought to myself "self, you look good tonight". Now if you're like me, you have those "ugly" days or days when you feel like even if God slapped a bow on you, you'd still look like sponge bob. (can you tell I'm not a fan of the yellow sponge that lives under the sea?)

Anyways, so the intention as I went on my merry way was not necessarily to turn heads but I figured a few compliments might be nice so wore my sensible heels, put on my favorite lip gloss in the car and touched up my mascara. The darn thing nearly took my eye out. Next time I'm in need of a weapon I might remember to use it. I arrived at my destination and everyone was in flip lops! Seriously! Did I miss the memo that this was a beach party? I'm talking dirty-half-worn-out flip flops! If this does not bother you, then you probably live in the Midwest!

Hanging out with a group of women looking like a bunch of thirteen year old boys is not my idea of fun times. Some people seem to think that in order to put the effort into looking nice another human being has to be the object of that effort. That just absolutely bothers me. Can I just do things for me just because it feels great? Or is that too selfish? It physically drains me to see women looking frumpy all the time. Can you at least pretend to care? Come on, live a little!

Routinization of Disaster

2010-09-15T20:37:00.001-04:00

Click cluck click cluck
Goes the sound of her shoes
In and out just like that
Sense of urgency about what she does

"Be right back"
Click Cluck; there she goes again

Back in the twinkling of an eye

Listens, prods, touches, a smile!

Click cluck click cluck

Eight lives all in her hands

Fast bouncy strides she makes

You couldn't tell she wants to cry again

Bladder quivering
Dry as parched land

Not a moment to sit through it all

Finally to sit and chart it all

Dedicated to all the Nurses who bend over backwards for the people they are entrusted with, who endure the abuse and misuse the system dishes out and still manage to make it look like a glorified profession. Click Cluck On!

What is in a name?

2010-09-06T21:53:00.000-04:00

Usually when I meet people for the first time, the conversation goes something like this:

Stranger: Hi, I'm -----, it's nice to meet you.

Me : Hi, I'm Maxine, very pleased to meet you.

Are you ever tempted to use a different name? After all, you might never meet this stranger again. As you have guessed already, my name is Maxine. Maxine is an english name of Latin origin and the feminine form of Max and it means "the greatest". Uhm, how awesome is that? Hello! I was named after a Baptist Missionary who's service in Ghana was so exceptional that my parents fell in love with her servant spirit! I still keep in touch with her and she's like another grandma to me. Guess what too? She is a Nurse! I had no idea what profession she was untill my second year in Nursing school! Coincidence?

Now seriously though if you're African like myself, you know the the meaning of your name has a bearing on the kind of person you are expected to be in life and you had better live up to it. It always buffles me when people tell me their names because I immediately wonder what it means. I love being a Maxine even though it is a really old name :) Hopefully the name will make a comeback soon. I already have about 3 Maxine's named after me! Have you ever wondered if you would act or live differently if your name had been different than what you have now?

What do you think is in a name? Has your name had any impact on your life?

My Beautiful One

2010-08-30T17:37:00.002-04:00

How lovely are

My thoughts of you today

As you go about

Your daily activity

There will be several voices

Some for and some misconstrued

Also many guesses

Concerning your value, true

Whatever is noble or kind

However mean or brush

Remember to not be confined

Or conclude in a rush

Keep your head up child

Shine and be a beacon

All your fears exiled

'Cos you're my beautiful one

The Burden of Representing...

2010-08-23T12:18:00.000-04:00

Have you ever experienced role conflict to the point where you need a new name for role strain? Have you ever felt like you need to represent everywhere you go? Case scenario: you start a new job and you're the only black/white/asian/middle eastern/christian/young/old etc person in there. Everyday is a struggle to wake up, find your work gear and get your behind to work. Everyone has prejudices and stereotypes and so you feel the need to represent all black people whether African American, Caribbean or African. In that work place you have become the black person. In certain places you might feel the need to represent all women or all men depending on your gender.

I sometimes wonder if anyone has felt like that before. I remember back in college when they would talk about issues concerning Africa or black people in general and I'd feel like a million eyes were on me. I always felt like I had to push myself extra hard because I was the only dark skinned girl in a class of 60 students. Should I have been stressed out?

Growing up I was the pastor's kid and you know "you gotta represent!" You can't be like any of the "other" kids and throw a tantrum when you can't get your way. No marm, that is absolutely not acceptable. You had to be on your best behavior everywhere you went. No wonder some PK's (pastors kids) eventually cracked open and it was not a pretty site when they did!

Right now, I still am the single black female in a certain role. I see myself as older and wiser and don't feel the pressure to represent anyone but myself and ofcourse to bring glory to my maker. There are times when I feel the burden of representing everyone of the groups or roles which I associate myself with but at least now I understand that to be my best or for a certain defined role to bring out the best in me is not so bad after all :)

brainless

2010-08-13T10:12:00.000-04:00

A tweet by Rick Warren went like this: Some people are so open-minded their brains fall out! I laughed for almost a minute as I tried to visualize opening up your mind and having your precious brain escape out of that insane asylum! I have a very active imagination. Almost every sentence I hear conjures up images in my mind. It is quite a blessing most of the time. Anyways, back to the initial tweet.

Is our society becoming too open minded that we embrace any and everything in the spirit of being the most understanding, the worldliest or the most learned? I sometimes wonder if half the things we accept are as a result of wanting to fit into today's world. We all know the world is fast becoming a global village but is this globalization costing us our values and morals?

Of course I want to be open minded. Actually, I am open minded but in the way that I want to love and serve without restraint and not compromise who I am. I know that in doing so, I allow others to influence me as well but I hope that in my contact with others, I would leave a lasting and profound impression.

My favorite book says that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. In every single act you engage in, make sure you limit your freedom so that another person's freedom is not infringed on. As I've stated before, your freedom ends where another's begin.

So go ahead and be open minded but be careful you don't lose your brain or yet still that another's brain jumps into the space left! After all, garbage in, garbage out! Word!

excitement

2010-08-07T16:20:00.000-04:00

As the title reads, I am way too excited to blog! My parents have been here since the 3rd and it has been such a blessed time! They rock my world absolutely! I have been reminded of His grace and mercies! The lyrics of this song sums up what I'm feeling! Thank You Lord!

I’m running back to your promises one more time,
Lord that’s all I can hold on to,
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you.

Before a heartache can ever touch my life,
it has to go through Your hands,
And even though I keep asking why,
I keep asking why.

No matter what, I’m gonna love You,
No matter what I’m gonna need You,
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,
I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

When I’m stuck and there’s nothing else by myself,
I’m just sitting in silence,
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it.
I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing,
Whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you will be my strength,

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s OK if You don’t,
I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own,
No matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You

Kerrie Roberts =)

Discontent is the remedy to greatness

2010-07-26T11:16:00.000-04:00

I get a little emotional sometimes. Okay, that is an understatement. I get majorly emotional when I feel like I am being treated unfairly. But that's just it. Feelings! They come and go and change our whole perspective on everything in life. I used to believe in people's ability to be and act fairly but I stopped a little while ago. People will always act in their own interest to the detriment of other people's interests. But as the saying goes, your freedom ends where another person's begin. So in exercising our freedom, we must be careful that we do not step on other people's toes.

I have come to realize without a doubt that my God is the only constant in this life! That is such a blessed assurance! I feel quite discontent in a certain area of my life. Without this discontent, I can imagine that I will be stuck here for a long time but thank God for it. I pray that I burn no bridges in the process because I might need those bridges someday! Quietly and patiently trying to forge a way forward :)

the expert jerk

2010-07-14T01:56:00.000-04:00

Huff and puff

To show your arrogance
Scream loud and long
To display your ignorance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was just thinking about high school and all the mean and cool people who influenced my life there. If you went to boarding school in Ghana or somewhere else in the world, then you possibly experienced the kind of hazing that is popular in these settings. Some people may argue that it was meant to toughen us up. That may be true in a sense but it used to bug me when people in a higher grade would just be blatantly mean!

The thing is, after high school when everyone is all grown up and doing their own thing, these people tend to think they can just all of a sudden become friends with you! AAARRRGGHHHHH! It kind of makes me mad you know. No you meanie, I don't want to be friends with you!...he he... It makes me even "madder" when they add you on facebook like you were their long lost buddy! Uhm...get lost, you jerk face! Sometimes I want to remind them of how mean they used to be you know. I guess at some point they probably realize it is much better to be a nicer person in life. If you used to be a meanie in high school, shame on you! lol

Temporary Visitor~

2010-07-05T20:37:00.005-04:00

So if you read this blog you probably know that I moved down south. Anyways, I recently changed my license plate and my drivers license to that of the State I'm in. My driver's license came back and I was amused and pained to see that it was a vertical license!Yikes! Vertical License with Temporary Visitor stamped in red and also includes the date when your legal status will expire! Do I even need a passport anymore? lol...

People were outraged by the laws of Arizona but the silent ones in Texas are equally if not more outrageous! Another reminder that I do not belong in this place and will therefore be treated like a second class citizen everywhere I go. I have started bracing myself for the questions to follow whenever anyone asks me about my license. Recently, when I was in Michigan, a sales associate asked how my stay in the States was going so far. Temporary Visitor after living on this land for freaking 8 years? How long did it take 'em to get rid of the American Indians who were occupying the place before they took over? mmmcheeewww...lol

It is apparently supposed to help stop terrorism and illegal immigration but who told these people that the target group will be deterred? I am just sick of answering these stupid questions about where I am from. I guess my consolation is that next time anyone asks me where I am from again, the answer will be "the little country that kicked your behinds outta the world cup 2 times in a row"...lol... Can you tell I'm bitter? Just hormones I tell you, hormones!

Facebook shenanigans

2010-06-29T08:05:00.004-04:00

Every now and then something on facebook pushes me to the edge and I just want to close my account but I always realize that in doing so, I am allowing an external force to determine my behaviour. I decided to remain proactive and not reactive to everything around me so I have kept that account but every now and then I clean house! I usually get rid of the people who are negative, quarrelsome and disrespectful to me and my ideals.

Just this morning one such person was hating on another for getting somewhere in their eduction and mocking them for taking so long to where they are! Really? Since when did trying to get ahead in life become a crime? When are black people going to stop with the PHD(Pull Him/Her Down) syndrome? I was utterly disgusted.

May each of us find the courage and the grace to support others who are far better than us. We have to learn to be content with our lot because someone will always be prettier, faster, smarter, taller and way better than we are!

My Love Your Love

2010-06-21T17:10:00.004-04:00

I'm sure we all have that someone we just can not wait to talk to when s#!+ hits the ceiling. For me, I first say a calm little prayer to my Father who knows all my needs and then call the hubby! I need to find other people to unload on! hehe... I am thankful for my love and his words of wisdom every single time I feel like acting a little unchristian. Thanks Honey!

Your love is pure
Your love is precious
Your love is all I need
Your love surrounds me
Your love astounds me
Your love is everything

I run to You
When my heart is weak
I cling to You You’re all I seek
It’s my heart’s desire to be close to You
Here in Your arms I find my strength

Everything I want everything I hope in
(You're)Everything my heart cries out for

by Kari Jobe

You there

2010-06-02T11:14:00.008-04:00

I try, all day long
To sit and reminisce
On all you do for me

I try, every single moment
To express the gratitude
That's overflowing in my heart

I try, to understand you
To feel you entirely,
I'll be content with who you are

I try, but not hard enough
To make it all known
But I have not lived long enough

Puzzle, fuzzle, buzzle

2010-06-01T02:54:00.004-04:00

Thoughts in a puddle
Love the sinner, loathe the sin
How do you identify the sinner
It says "by their deeds, ye shall know 'em"

Is that what He did when he loved me first?
Identified me, loved me all the same
In spite of my questionable identity
My telltale sins did not hinder Him

Love the sinner, loathe the sins
I've been left a great example
I'm struggling to do exactly that
But the deeds overwhelm at times

Mind Games

2010-05-21T05:35:00.002-04:00

Today, or rather, the past 48 hours has been full of thinking, planning, strategizing, understanding or not quite grasping certain things. I guess when I think about it, everyday really is like that. I had my first +PPD test (skin test for TB) which freaks me out to no end because I have decided to take the preventive medications. I have not worked out in more than 3 months and I had a knife-like pain in my chest which scared me even the more. Health scares just plain bother me. Now I feel like I need to get my cholesterol level checked out too.

That's jsut the beginning and end of the day but in between, I had plenty to keep me occupied. From here says to actual verifiable information; it has been quite a full 48 hours. In all of it, I found myself taking in a deep breathe and saying a prayer every now and then. I compared my reactions to situations from a year ago to currently and I realized I have come very far. I am still passionate and a little hot headed at times, especially if anyone or anything I love is threathened or disrespected. But the hubby has indeed rubbed off on me. I am becoming cool like him!...hehe

Perhaps that's just not it. I am learning to let God take absolute control of every aspect of my life so that I do not limit him to just a certain area. Imagine being given a manual by an inventor/designer and then when it came to assembling the part, you would try and do it however you want but only ask the creator for instructions when you were in a bind. Meanwhile he looked on with much agony over your countless mistakes yet he never ceased to give you the right direction when you asked. That's what I am trying to avoid. I want to consult the creator and his manual first before attempting to assemble my parts.

I admit, I do need help figuring out which bolt or screw goes where. Most of all, I need help in remembering to as for help!

Paradigms Shifted

2010-05-15T14:00:00.003-04:00

In conclusion...

We all are pilgrims
On this road of hills and plains

Forget your differences
It might make your load lighter

Fellow travellers we will remain
Extend your self to another's self

The Proverbs 31 woman!

2010-05-09T04:39:00.004-04:00

This proverb always makes me think about my mama and the kind of woman I aspire to be. Happy Mothers' day to all the women who have earned the right to be called "Mama". Some of you may not have children but blessings on you for being wise and nurturing!

Here's my favorite part of Proverbs 31:-

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Shifting Paradigms

2010-05-03T14:31:00.003-04:00

They say they are chosen,
Predestined, so to speak
I know I am tagged
The good book does say we're joint heirs

You speak what you've been taught
Without giving it much thought
Perhaps you might want to ponder over
Those values instilled, with much scrutiny

Paradigm Shift

2010-04-29T14:40:00.003-04:00

She said she's white and I am black
How does she know she's not color blind?

He thinks he's there and I am here
How does he know he's not here and I, over there?

... to be continued

Fellow Travellers

2010-04-27T14:53:00.003-04:00

Extend yourself to another's self
That's the beginning of Love
God took the initiative
And extended His self to man

... to be continued

Sunny Days

2010-04-21T13:07:00.003-04:00

I have had enough of the stinky mood already. Sunnier days are ahead and I intend to enjoy myself fully! My fridge got fixed and I'm a happier resident :) I wish I had a 2 week all expenses paid vacation :P Now that would be the life!

Anyways back to reality; Looks like it is going to be an early Christmas for me 'cos Santa(my dad) is coming to town! I am doing my happy dance soon as I'm done typing. I haven't seen my daddy since January 2, 2008! Aaaarrrggghhhh... the hustle of living on a different continent. It is going to be an amazing weekend!

God Bless y'all through this mid week and the weekend! Hugs

Rants

2010-04-15T13:30:00.003-04:00

I usually try to overlook the things which irritate me to no end and try to adopt an attitude of gratitude instead but my apartment management irritate me to no end! Grrr... I got locked out of my apartment because I lost my keys at Target (one of my favorite places to pick up random sale items! hehe). I called the apartment people to come and open the door for me and I was told I would be charged $35 dollars for that! Okay, come open the door. I'm not going to sleep outside because of $35! The custodian or whatever he is, sends his son to come and open the door and my spare key, which is with them at their office is not given to me because they are not opened at the time. Why am I being charged $35 dollars if you're still keeping my spare key?

Come Monday these people keep calling me to come and pay $35. That's not even what irritates me the most. I have had problems with my fridge since I moved here in November. I don't even know how many times I have put in a maintenance request to have it checked out since then. My lease is almost up and still nobody has come to fix what is wrong but they have the nerve to demand $35! Grrr... It makes me mad that I have to pay for it. Just had to let that off my chest.

Lessons from the Folks

2010-04-08T12:28:00.004-04:00

She is always modest
She hardly wears any makeup
Let alone fancy outfits
She had a fro at some point
And she always said "look your best and wear a smile"
"Even if you're wearing rugs, wear it with dignity"

He has never made much money
He chose to serve for a crown unseen
Yet His faith keeps him going
No stress lines 'cos he's blessed
Never disappointed 'cos he's anointed
He always said "Live, love, leave a legacy"

Got that spring in my step from Mama
That caring spirit from my Daddy
Your words may be intended to cut me down
But theirs was intended to lift me up
They labored for me sake,
So your opinions could take second place

For My folks!

Via Dolorosa

2010-04-02T10:48:00.003-04:00

It's here again; that time of year where I think about why someone would die in my place and why someone whould want to save my soul from eternal damnation. What kind of love is that? If I had been going the "way of grief/sorrow (via dolorosa) and seen the compassion and contempt on the faces of the people, would I still have had any ounce of kindness and love in me to go and lay down my life?

I am thankful that He had to do it 'cos left to man alone, there would have been no salvation only vengeance! I am thankful that His grace is sufficient for me. I know some people do not believe any of this happened and others believe the stories are just myths but whatever the case may be, I am convinced in my belief that He is the Lord of my life, that the punishment that brought me peace was laid on Him and that He has afforded me the right to be confident because he has conquered all my fears already! That may very well be my opiate but what's yours? What gives you inner peace and joy that nothing can shake?

Thank God

satisfaction

2010-03-25T13:54:00.004-04:00

Lately, I've been wondering if I am satisfied with the direction my career is going? There's days when I don't mind where I'm at currently and there are other times when I really could care less. I want to be at that point where no matter the circumstance, I am absolutely loving what I am doing.

Nursing can get a little dark and dreary at times especially when you see all the suffering going on around you. It gets a little depressing. I don't want to get to that point where I am so desensitized to the suffering that everything becomes so routine. I need to sit and re-evaluate.

On a much happier note, summer is just around the corner! I am going to be working throughout the summer but just the thought of sunny days makes me happy! Wherever, you are, I hope you're all having a fabulous day. Thank God that Spring has sprung!

Always there

2010-03-14T19:13:00.004-04:00

He showed me again,

In the most vivid sunrise,

With hues of blues and oranges,

Shades of Yellows and reds.

It was as if He was saying

"Gently, my love beckons, yet firmly holds you still"

Until I was awash in the warm glow of that sunrise!

Mine, what content!

Free forever!

2010-03-06T12:00:00.004-05:00

Happy Independence Day to all the Ghanaians out there!
"At long last, the battle has ended,
and thus Ghana our Beloved country is free forever"
- Nkrumah, 6th March, 1957

I love how he urged people to change their attitude and their minds. Being held captive or being ruled for a long time seems to make it difficult for people to break free from that bondage and be pace setters. I hope Nkrumah's message on that night continues to resound in our hearts.

God bless our homeland Ghana,
And make our nation great and strong,
Bold to defend forever
The cause of Freedom and of Right.
Fill our hearts with true humility
Make us cherish fearless honesty,
And help us to resist oppressors' rule
With all our will and might evermore.

God Bless y'all!

Forever heart

2010-02-23T17:41:00.003-05:00

Loves me more and more
Tell me frequently
Today it was through that sunshine
Yesterday it was through that sweet smile
I wonder how You'll show me tomorrow
Some days the clouds block out the sun
Sometimes it is difficult to recognize the smile
No matter how You show me teach me to live in that moment

Sweetest Day!

2010-02-14T23:05:00.004-05:00

Happy Valentine's day Y'all! I know it's a little late but I hope someone was super nice or sweet to you today! I have always felt a little weird about this day. Sometimes I don't know whether to love it or hate it. The commercial side of it is unbelievable! Half my church was wearing red, countless numbers of people at the cinema were wearing red or pink. People had tacky heart shirts on etc... It gets a little nauseating and overwhelming :S

In spite of that, I think it is important for people to remember to be nice and sweet to each other and if it take this one day to remember to do that, then so be it :) I think sometimes in our lives, we forget to appreciate and really love on the people who mean the most to us. Maybe this is the day on which most of us actually sit to think about going out of our way to be nice to those who have been there for us all year long. Hopefully, that is true for you too.

If you're reading this, thanks for visiting my blog and for always checking it even if I don't have any updates for days and days! Happy Valentines Day! Don't forget to brush your teeth before going to bed! Come on, you know I had to throw in a healthy tit bit! Hugs

You Don't Know Me

2010-02-01T22:18:00.003-05:00

Let me be myself

Not the preacher's kid
Not her sister

Not your friend

Not my man's woman

Let me be myself

Not the black girl from Africa

Not the little girl who's no more

Not the buddy you hang with

Just...

Let me be myself

Not my father's daughter
Not my uncle's niece

Not my teacher's student

I just wanna ...

Be myself

A child created in His image

Just who I am

Exactly what He intends me to be

... HIS child.

(written a million years ago when I was a freshman in college!)

Future

2010-01-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

Candle light dancing in the wind

Their shadows bouncing off my walls

Thinking of yesterdays and yester years

Amazing memories sweetly teasing my senses

With their flirtatious sway

And titillating movements

Gently lulling me to dream land

Promising yesterdays, hopeful tomorrows

Leaving the lovely past behind

Dancing its way back to reality

Giving me strength for today

Innocence

2010-01-10T09:51:00.000-05:00

I saw a lovely blue and white looking top

It really did appeal to me so I took a closer look

And discovered right under the racks, a lovely little girl

She could not be a day older than four, I thought

Oh what a sweet innocent cutie pie,

At first I thought she was lost or needed some help

Then I realized in disbelief

She was frantically tearing the price tag off

She looked up as her sister came closer to her hiding place

She daintily placed the band on her head

Linked her little hands with her sisters,

And they skipped on their merry way out

You can imagine my shock at this spectacle

I was so shocked I could hardly move.

The little thief! She made away with the headband

Obviously, her sister was aware!

I forgot all about the top and slowly left the shop

My vision of innocence shattered for the day

By the lovely little thief!

My Yesterday

2010-01-06T10:55:00.005-05:00

Picture taken somewhere between Arkansas and Texas!

Impulsively, I almost closed this blog! I was a little annoyed and I have been known to act without thinking too much about it sometimes. Again, my only excuse is I'm short and my heart is way closer to my head so sometimes it doesn't take long to process things at all. When things make me mad, I tend to either ignore, recoil and rebound or totally shut down. I guess as part of my New Year's resolution, I will even be more fearless and vocal about what I think although I am still going to keep my handwritten journal for personal matters which won't travel back to "family".

Anyway, the New year seems promising as usual. I love new beginnings! It always makes me happy :) HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! May you be fearless and bold in what you believe in! May you be absolutely compassionate in your dealings in everyday life! Hugs, Maxine :)

Anniversary!

2009-12-29T17:08:00.005-05:00

Two years of joy

Two years of love

Intense and profound

There's no one else

I would have done it with

No one else

Who could have made it worth my while

Through the ups and the downs

The Laughter and the Tears

Thanks for putting up with me

You'll always be my best.

I ponder not over the rest

We'll do it one day at a time

I pray for long life for us both

And for a home filled with laughter

I love you, Boo!

Once upon a loving

2009-12-22T18:57:00.010-05:00

I once was in love with a man

Nought he did could be wrong

I could be huffing and puffing

With his smile I'd lose the heat
****************************

I once was in love with a man

At the touch of his hands

All my troubles seemed to melt

And the sorrows would crumble too

*****************************

I once was in love with a man

He made my heart skip beats

He could set this heart afflutter

With just a little whisper

*****************************

I once was in love with a man

He said I was the fairest of them all

He promised to hold my heart dear

But he squeezed it too tight...

Twilight

2009-12-17T19:56:00.004-05:00

This has nothing to do with the movie and it is not a review so sorry if I misled you. Lately, I have been feeling as if I was in a twilight zone. It is not necessarily a bad thing. It just feels quite surreal. First of all, I have never really a attended a church outside of Ghana where everyone refers to the other person as "sister-this-or-that" and "brother-so-and-so"! Seriously! I am not even complaining about it but barely stating the reality. At first I did not really know what to think of it. It just sounded weird to hear someone call me "sister Maxine" as if I was a nun. That's exactly what it reminded me of! Maybe I had joined a convent without knowing? The church is a very lovely place and everyone seems so nice and friendly (well most people) but I don't really want to be "sister" Maxine. Just Maxine will do :)

Oh and I just realized that I always spell the word weird wrongly! Grrr... Glad to have spell check!

Image:Surreal Image by Larry Carlson

Snow Bunnies

2009-12-05T12:27:00.004-05:00

I was so excited about the weather in TX.
Sunny days in the winter, shorts and flip flops in January!
I really was! and then yesterday, I heard it was snowing in Michigan
Beautiful snow flakes that sometimes land oh so softly on your cheeks.
And then I had a yearning for the snow, the boots, the jackets, the hat,
The mittens/gloves,cleaning snow off my car, turning my heat up to 80!
...The whole shibang!
Am I a Michigander? I might be at heart! Weird huh?
I might change my mind before long.
Perhaps a visit back is due soon :)

Believe

2009-11-29T20:23:00.003-05:00

And she kept reading...

I know your todays and tomorrows
Give me your yesterdays and sorrows
Just look to me, I'll be your guide
I'll bless your life, I will provide

Trust in me for I do know what you lack
Look ahead, trust in me, don't look back
I have not forgotten or failed you at all
I know your every need, the big and small

I will be with you
Protect your entire life
I love you
Will bless you as husband and wife

----
I dont even remember the lady's name but her poem reminded me again of God's continued love and faithfulness toward us.

Skeptical

2009-11-25T19:40:00.006-05:00

I listened in silence

As my eyes welled up

Slowly those tears fell

Down my cheeks they trickled

She said "I wrote it this morning"

And I'm sure it was intended for you

I took one more look at her face

And the wild look in her eyes

As she began to read

"My beloved son and daughter, I care

I do love you so give me the burdens you bare

I do understand what you're going through

I know the plans I have for you and what you'll do

...

How can I not be thankful for His grace and love and providence? I am overly thankful! Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Skeptic

2009-11-19T23:12:00.004-05:00

She said "hello" and "welcome"

She wished this our home will become

She had a bit of a wild look in her eye

Was it excitement or insanity?

She flashed her pearly whites

As she clasped my hand so tight

And said ever so softly

"This here is meant for you"

I never held hands so small

Or experienced His plan so vividly

For in her hand was a piece of poetry

Sent from the lover of my soul!

...to be continued

Rio Grand Valley

2009-11-15T23:07:00.005-05:00

Oh mine! I just realized it's been a week since I posted! I have been so busy and so tired from trying to get the new place all homey and cozy. The Rio Grand Valley really is popping! I met some Ghanaians today! I could not believe my eyes! I was so sure there will be no Ghanaians whatsoever. I knew that I might find at least one Nigerian, but Ghanaian? Never in a million years!

Not that I was looking out for or singling the colored folks out but it helps to know that at least one other colored person has a similar experience to yours. So yeah, I met TWO Ghanaian families today and they were very nice people! Now I don't feel so alone.

This place even has an African shop!Say what!?! Guess where the owner is from? Omo Naija ooo!

Plight of One

2009-11-08T23:23:00.007-05:00

Wake up early morn

Everyday after you're born

To yet another day of toil

On the not so fertile soil

Till a land that's desolate

And get to school late

I am not that African child

Never played with toys

Never had a voice

My folks did their best

And I have to do the rest

Old beyond my years

Hopeful future not so near

I am not that African child

May have been cast a better lot

May have played with you as a tot

The years may have changed my view

But I never forget how you grew

I pray your future is brighter

And you've learned to be a fighter

I am this African child...

I think about that African child

*image from NubianGraphics.com

Double Take

2009-11-06T12:56:00.007-05:00

So I just realized that I have not read a book since summer! That is terrible. I have been watching way too much TV lately and seriously destroying brain cells.(Thank God for scrabble! Which I play almost everyday online! hehe) I started playing scrabble about a year ago and I really like it. I'm not that good yet but I'm getting there little by little. How often do you read a book? What is best the you have read so far this year? Maybe I might need to pass by Barnes and Noble to pick up a few books.

Does anyone know how to break up a 24 hour drive? I'm wondering if we should do 10 hours/day or 8 hours/day or whatever? What are your thoughts?

In other unrelated news and totally vain information, I got the double take a couple times yesterday! You know on those days when you feel great and it seems nothing can bring you down? Yes, that's how I felt yesterday! I had a spring in my step as I walked with my head held high! Heels are the best~! Have a great day y'all!(I'm turning Texan even before I get there!...hehe)

So so surreal

2009-11-02T11:08:00.005-05:00

"I can't believe it"

One more week to the long commute

My heart skips a beat when I think about it

Is it excitement or anxiety

I know not what feeling it is

All I can do is be THANKFUL!

Will I see deer in my backyard like I do now

Will I be able to gaze at the wild turkey from my window

How about the beautiful stray cats with mischievous eyes

What of the beautiful birds with colorful feathers?

Will I find comfort in a different view?

All I can do is be THANKFUL!

Weekend Bliss

2009-10-30T13:25:00.002-04:00

Yesterday someone asked if I was happily married and I responded "blissfully so!" I didn't even have to think about it. In my opinion, the honeymoon is only over when you say so! Keep LOVE alive people! Make Love, Not War!... hehe

Have a great weekend. Mine is going to be full of "see you later(s)"... it's never good bye!

Thought Processes

2009-10-26T14:24:00.005-04:00

Speechless
When you touch my face
Speechless
When you kiss my lips
Speechless
When our eyes connect
Speechless
When you changed the game
Speechless
How you love me best
Speechless
How I can't deny
Speechless
How I can't control...
Word!...
That I love you most!

Forever and a day!

2009-10-23T01:00:00.003-04:00

That's how long I feel like it's been since I posted! Pardon my absence from blogging often. I am going through a period of transition and I am a little frazzled and disorganized from it. That's the only excuse I have. Lately though, I have been wondering; what does it really mean to belong? For me, I have always felt a sense of not really belonging to a particular place. Perhaps I am just a restless wanderer? What are your thoughts? Am I the only one who feels like this? With that said, it does not mean I am unhappy or discontent with this state of being :) After all, the only constant in life is change!

Slowly Falling

2009-10-19T13:22:00.005-04:00

Feels like I've been in a whirlwind

Slowly but steadily getting out of control

Can't feel the ground beneath me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Calm the wind and the turmoil within

Chase away the dust and the debris

With You I find a place of rest

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Solace for my tired mind and feet

Comfort for my weary mind

I'm grounded wherever you are

Chase

2009-10-15T10:12:00.004-04:00

She followed him for a while

Driving wildly and tailgating

Weaving through traffic

Maintaining a close distance,

Lest she lost track of him

At every "STOP" sign she'd honk

Trying to get his attention

He'd put his blinkers on

Thinking "just go around me already, crazy person"

Until he got to my stop sign

She signaled for me to stop him

Out flew the little lady in a frenzy

To give her dear husband his packed lunch!

-------------------------------------------------

That's how my morning went as I got to the bus stop to wait with my niece and nephew for their school bus. I love older couples! They give me hope! Love is still alive!

Get Acquainted With The Sisters!!!

2009-10-13T09:48:00.005-04:00

Admit it, you've probably spent a lot of time thinking about your chest. How can you not, they are right there in front of you and there's no way getting around them! You've probably wondered at how to keep them nice and perky and strong but alas! Gravity is no respector of "breastises". Apparently, cancer may not be either!

Fact- Breast cancer risk increases with age and every woman is at risk

Fact- Men can get breast cancer though it is rare

Fact- More women of African decent have lower survival rate from breast cancer so sister, get acquainted with your sisters(boobies)!

Quite recently, I was watching the news and there was a story about a research going on in Ghana on breast Cancer. Apparently, sometimes the gene or markers for breast cancer do not show up in mammograms especially in African American women and it was found that a section of the population (younger women, pre-menopausal) are more likely to be affected, This form is very aggressive and difficult to treat. It is known as Triple Negative Breast Cancer and is more likely to affect women with African Ancestry! Yikes! You can get the rest of the story here .

So go ahead, Feel Those Boobies purposefully once a month while in the shower! If you don't know how they feel how can you tell if something is not right!

Health Watch!!! -Stroke

2009-10-10T01:37:00.005-04:00

Hi everyone, I figured since I'm about to start working again, I should share a few health tit bits with you. This has circulated on the world wide web and you may have read it before but do keep in mind that it is very important to know! It only takes a minute to read this...

A stroke is an interruption of the blood supply to any part of the brain. A stroke is sometimes called a "brain attack." Neurologist say that if they can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours, it is possible to totally reverse the effects of a stroke depending on what type... totally.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE -Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR .

Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify..-

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. It is sunny out today.)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediatelyand describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke ---Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other , that is also an indication that something might not be right.

Have a great weekend!!! Thanks so much for all the encouragement too! I really appreciate it! Hugs!

Journey to the South

2009-10-07T13:47:00.008-04:00

I'm southward bound

My heart is doing somersaults in my chest
My mind is in chaos

My emotions know not which persona to take

I'm southward bound

I should, logically and realistically be glad

My home is going to be far away

'Cos he can not come with me yet

I'm southward bound

My heart is going to be left behind

'Cos that's where my home is

Will I ever call you home again?

I'm southward bound

I may not know what you will bring me

I may learn to love you

But never like my beloved home

ps:

Some of you may know that I have not worked for the past 2 years. Yep, have not been working a paid job since I got married but I got an offer in Texas! So I am beginning the long commute mentally and physically from Michigan, my beloved Michigan to Texas. I am apprehensive and anxious of what the future may hold for us but I trust that he who holds the future, already knows the plan He has for me! Please do keep the hubby and I in your prayers! Hopefully, I will bring you adventures from the southside!

~Birthday Thoughts~

2009-10-04T23:33:00.011-04:00

Restless mind,

Wondering heart,

Choices to make,

Decisions unmade,

Another year is here,

Don't feel a day older!

Spiritually and personally,

Felt like I was 3 a while ago

Today, I feel 21

Hopefully, I look 18!

Whatever number I may be today,

I hope I made some impact in that time!

Another year, more grace!

Can't wait to eat cake! whoop, whoop!

Incomplete Doc.

2009-10-02T00:46:00.007-04:00

I sat up with a jolt

Light bulb came on suddenly
A moment of realization
"I am a work in progress"

Was wondering what perfection was
Why it seems humanly impossible
To attain the unattainable
To be perfect in every sense of the word

Like a poem without a perfect ending
Like an essay to be submitted for a grade
I need constant editing
"I am a work in progress"

Epiphany at long last
I have been Saved!
Just as I do my typed work
Saved for constant editing

My "aha!" moment finally
Someday, the final work will be presented
Then, the work will be complete
Until then, I remain saved!

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe

The Fragrance left on the Heel that Crushed the Flowers!

2009-09-29T00:20:00.006-04:00

My friend had a quote on her facebook status and this is what it said: All the water in the world, however hard it tried, could never sink a ship unless it got inside. All the hardships of this world, might wear you pretty thin, but they won't hurt you, one least bit...unless you let them in. (Anonymous)

Isn't that so true? I tend to think of forgiveness or unforgiveness in the same way. In a way not forgiving others can eat at you so much that it can leave you very bitter and and pessimistic about everything in life. It is a struggle to come to that point where you want to forgive people of the hurt and pain they cause you. When you hold on so tightly to whatever memory of wrong doing the other party might have invoked, it is like extra baggage and you will project it on to new relationships and experiences in your life instead of looking at things in a different light.

As the years go by, I have come to realize that the decision to forgive is not an easy one especially if there is a constant reminder of the hurt that was caused. When you decide to get to that point, it will be like the callus that has formed on the wound over the years will slowly start to peel away, layer by layer. It might not be an instant thing; the memory may not disappear suddenly but at least you will be doing yourself a big favor! As I always say, you can not be drinking poison and expect another person to die from the venom. I pray you all have an amazing week and the beginning of fall will bring to you a new beginning in your life as well. Blessings!

Brightens My Face

2009-09-25T02:00:00.001-04:00

This was supposed to be an entry for my thankful Thursday but I forgot to publish it so here goes. I hardly ever read Habakkuk. Actually just pronouncing it gets me in giggles and bouts of snickering. However, one of my favorite passages ever is :

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

We all know how to show gratitude when something good comes our way or when we meet good fortune but to honestly be thankful in spite of adversity and in the middle of calamity, now that is the mark of a truly grateful heart.

Thanks for Your grace which keeps me humble and accepting of whatever comes my way!

Full Circle

2009-09-21T00:53:00.006-04:00

Part of the link in the chain is broken,
Part of the piece that held this fragile bond is gone
She always called me "MINE", her token
And rightfully so 'cos mama named me after her
I always viewed her with awe
Amazed at her depth of insight and lore,
At the command of respect from all
Her name may not be known to all
Yet she remains one of the very best in my world
It was time for your appointment with Him
When it is time for ours, the lights will dim
Broken will be our earthly cord
The links in this chain will be restored

For my Beloved Grandmother !