Bucket List

There are a few things I would love to accomplish in life. They say purpose gives one meaning in life. I seek to find my purpose in every area of life that I intend to engage fully in. It has always been my goal to find fulfillment in my work, studies, and relationships. I am glad to say that I finally accepted the call to excellence and was inducted into the Omega Gamma Chapter of Sigma Theta Tau International. For many, it may not be a big deal but to me, it felt amazing! I was proud to be among the many who have been invited to join STTI.

My cousin was the first in our family to pave the way. I have also had many mentors and preceptors who have embodied what amazing Nursing leadership looks like. One of my favorite preceptors was Charmaine. She was patient and kind and did not make me feel like an idiot. They say Nurses eat their young and she never made me feel like I would get swallowed up by the profession. Compassion and kindness go a long way to inspire others to extend the same humanity to others. I currently have another co-worker who is always soft-spoken and gentle with the people she works with. Other people in leadership who have inspired me include Mary Aboagye and Comfort Nyameba Poku. There are many trailblazers I aspire to be like. It is amazing  to not live for applause but every now and then, it sure feels good.

The invitation has been sent and I have accepted. May I thirst for excellence in this field as I seek to serve the people who are placed in my charge daily.

#STTI #SigmaNursing #MSN #LeadershipEducation

LIFE

I have tried to put my thoughts into words a few times in the last few years. Blogging used to be such an outlet until I found KDrama. I must say the escape has been quite welcoming but I might have lost my creative writing in there. Over the last few years, blogging has become some people's way of making a living. It has become very commercialized to the extent that it is difficult to discern what is paid content from original and sincere opinions.

I long for the days when it wasn't so, but who am I kidding? Making a living out of a hobby is pretty brilliant, indeed!

Do people still blog?

I have not blogged In So long that the very thought of writing my thoughts down here seems a little strange. There is so much to say yet so little time to get all the thoughts running through my head together. I started a new job but I do miss interacting with patients at times especially face to face. My kids are growing and getting a little independent.Some days , I wish they would remain little and other days, I wish they were in college already! Being an adult keeps getting more and more challenging! There are days when I just don't want to 'adult'. May I just take a minute to be? No? Alas! Life of a mama. 

I wish I could commit to writing more often but life goes on and so must I,  outside of the blogosphere. God bless 

lately

So am I an idealist or just plain delusional? I choose gratitude and refuse to feed into misery because misery does love company. Call me crazy but focusing on the positives and being thankful has proven to be a lot more beneficial to my overall well being than the opposite. I have had my fair share of pain and I struggle with it on a constant basis to be grateful in life but God has been good through it all. Even in the times when my vision is tunneled and all I visualize is the distraction and uncertainty and heartache.

Why do people refuse to see that gratitude is the mark of maturity in several areas of life? Why do people get mad when others remain positive no matter their circumstances? Oh wait, misery loves company! I am sure it is quite annoying to see other people's lives as perfect while your's remains drab, boring and full of pain but for the love of all that is good, please don't compare your life to another's. You do not know their struggle or hassle. You only see a snippet of a person's life online and it is mostly just the good that is put out there. Don't believe the hollywood hype either. Real life is full of highs and lows and no situation is permanent. If you're down right now, dust yourself and get back up. Keep pressing on.

these days and times

It's been increasingly difficult to find time to take a shower let alone sit and write a blog post. Who knew having two kids under three could be such a challenge! As I always say, I have so much respect and appreciation for my parents after becoming one myself. Granted they had a lot of extended family to help but it is still not an easy task. Parenting requires a lot of grace and I need more than I can handle :)

So far this year has been full of downs. First Kyle got pneumonia, then double ear infection and keeps getting sick at daycare partly because he mouths everything and his immune system is apparently not strong enough so he keeps getting everyone's germs. Grrr... Then there's the joys of living in the frozen tundra and having schools and daycares close several times so one of us has to miss work and stay home. Who's going to be paying for these hospital bills when we can't even work a full week without all these interruptions? Oh and I got in an accident just when I thought things were looking up finally! Hahaha... God must have had a good laugh :-)

Truth is, I know nothing I do or don't do will separate me from the love of God but lately I've been feeling a little distant. I've not prayed as much. The few times I string a sentence together, it always seems like a petition or request. I feel emotionally tired, drained, physically weak, mentally challenged and just all around frustrated. There are days when I want to look up and shake my  fist at God and then I am reminded of the book of Job! Who am I to be questioning the almighty when I was not present as He laid the foundations for this earth?

For now, I am going to take it each day at a time. Some days are full of victories and others are not. I remember praying the prayer of Agur and it has been such a reality in my life. It really is true that if you ask to be in God's will, you had better make sure that you're ready for it or the reality of His will concerning your life will put you in total and complete shock.
 Lord grant me more grace to live for You

Stationery Card

Stationery Card

View the entire collection of cards.

Our newest addition,Shane Steven! To God be the glory!

Where did the year go

My blogging has become so sporadic that sometimes I wonder if anyone follows this blog anymore or if my story impacts anyone's life at all. That's quite alright because writing is a creative outlet for me and not my whole life. It allows me to take an inventory of what is going on in my life and gives me the ability to sit back and figure out what I'm doing wrong or right. There is some comfort in knowing that. That said, I wish I could blog more often but if you follow me on instagram or are my friend on facebook, you'd know we have a new addition to our family tree. It gives me much joy and I am grateful to God for all His provision. That'll have to be a whole other blog post for another day.

So I am pondering over going back to work and putting my kids in daycare. Has anyone struggled with this? It kind of breaks my heart a little :-( I need more grace! Parenting a high needs toddler and a newborn is no joke. I have also felt a little stagnant in my relationship with God lately. Moving and all these changes have made it difficult to commit to a church. I love the African church family I have visited here in MN so far but I also yearn for something more. NOT something similar to my church experience in Michigan per se, but a deeper understanding and fellowshipping with other believers would be amazing. Torn!

Anyways, I hope everyone's year is going great. I celebrated another birthday and hopefully I am wiser :-) God Bless!

Uhm

Wowsers! It'e been another century since I blogged. Being a mama is taking it's toll I tell ya! I've moved again and amidst a few wistful emotional moments, I think I have handled it pretty well. So we're in a new state, new city... we have to make new friends,find a new church, meet new coworkers and colleagues. Oh dear Lord, do have mercy! I must say it's going pretty well so far. The worst part for me is finding new healthcare providers that I can trust. Y'all say a prayer for us!

In all of the chaos of setting up house, I have learned that God is faithful. He's been with us through it all. For me especially, I acknowledge that nothing in my life is possible without God's grace and faithfulness. Just the other day I was sharing with my dad what a toll my son's health issues has taken on my faith without even realizing it. You see, sometimes we lose sight of the hereafter when all we see is the chaos of now. I am slowly getting back up to that point where I am so in tune with God and what direction He has for my life. Through my unfaithfulness, He still remains sovereign! Thank You Jesus.

Do say a prayer for my family when you get a minute... the prayers of the righteous availeth much indeed :-)

The "Why"

My husband graduated from business school this past weekend. So ladies and gentlemen, I have a proud Baylor Business MBA holder  under my roof. I am quite excited for the next chapter of our lives. We got together with a couple different families to celebrate the accomplishments of our loved ones and it was during of these encounters that the inspiration for this post was coined up.

There was discussions on an inspirational piece of literature that talks about finding one's "why" in life. This can be the reason for your existence, the reason why you've made certain decisions or are going through a certain situation. I guess finding this "why" gives a purpose to a person's life. It got me thinking about my life. In the last few years I have reflected on many "whys" without a clear answer.

The thing is, in a way, if I knew all the whys in every situation, then my vision will be somewhat distorted and myopic. I somehow need the uncertainties in life in order to see the bigger picture or keep my focus on this above and not focus on just this earthly view. All I can do is do my very best with whatever situation I find myself in. I could explore all the whys to the point of exhaustion and still be back at square one. If I am doing my best, however, then I can be rest assured that He who holds the future will someway, somehow, crown my effort with success.

I don't want to take away from those in hot pursuit of their "why" in life. I am just saying that sometimes, we need to quit the whining, over-analyzing and just be in the moment and ask God to take our hand and lead us home. May you be content with your lot and find that silver lining no matter how dark your cloud might be.

Congratulations again honey, and to everyone who graduated or will be graduating this year, Job well done!

March Madness

I feel like there are so many changes my family is going through this year that it's made it almost impossible to just sit and put my thoughts into words. God's been good :-) So looking forward to hubby being done with school! I was going through "my little basket of treasures" when I came across and old poem/prayer written about 8 years ago. Enjoy

 God bless the poor in spirit

God bless the afflicted soul

God grant the request of the suffering

God's grace be upon the destitute

Fill their days with laughter

Fill their hearts with joy

Fill their waking hours with peace

Fill their minds with Your love

I pray for a quiet spirit that is reflective on and of God's redemptive presence this Easter for each and everyone of us.

© 03/28/2013 Maxine Mosley Totoe