Kyle David

So after hours of intense labor (don't want to go into all the details),my little or not so little Kyle David was born amidst a few tears and much joy and pride. He is absolutely beautiful! It amazes me how much joy fills my heart every time I look at him. How does a tiny being like that absolutely steal your heart in such a short time?

He is absolute perfection to me. This realization took me quite a while to come to. My idea of perfection was exactly what every one's was. Who was I to determine that perfection for the Maker Himself? It would be like telling a manufacturer that a product made was defective even if it is a different variation from previous models!

Throughout my pregnancy, my prayers have mostly been for God to fix my baby. You see, Kyle was born with a special heart which is being fixed for better circulation as I type. It might require about 4 or more surgeries over the  course of his lifetime but I am rest assured that the master physician is at work so no worries there.

There are times when I wished I could be the one in his place. I wish I  could feel his pain and calm him immediately with my touch. There have been moments like that where just picking him up and cuddling him just calmed Him right down and other times he just remained inconsolable until sucrose was introduced.( Apparently, sucrose is like crack to babies!)

Again, I feel like God is sending me on a journey because I have been telling Him that I am willing to move my feet. I am interested and very excited about where this one will take my little family unit. A friend of mine  commented on how brave I was and all I could think of was the fact that God prepares us for testimonies and equips us in the process. This is by no means going to be the end of it I'm sure but why should I be  consumed by anxiety when He has said he will never leave me nor forsake me?

Originally written 10/12/11

love-o-meter

I know a couple who struggled for 8 years to have a baby and I also know of another who got pregnant 3 months into their marriage without much planning at all. Now I know that each of these parents are very excited about their baby and they show them off proudly to family and friends. I have been wondering if the level of love for each is different though. After all the first couple had to struggle for 8 years. I can imagine the stress, the uncertainty and possible ridicule whether obvious or not, that they had to endure.

Does that mean the second couple love their baby any less? They might have had to process the implication of having a child right after getting married and the implication of that on their newly established home. Would that put a strain on their marriage and as such on their relationship with their child?

I guess in essence, I am trying to figure out if the amount of love, care and attention given to each child is affected by the circumstances or the environment of the parent prior to their birth. Just wondering :)