Bursting

Have you ever felt like there's so much you want to write that you end up not writing at all? That's how I feel right now. Been wanting to just let it all out but I can't for the life of me figure out what to write first. Time to make a list I suppose!

FOR MAMA!

I did not know how to talk to you

So I left my diary for you

I used to wonder if you loved me

'Cos you always chided me

My young mind thought it was hatred

But you wanted to keep my heart sacred

I like how you used to pray over me

And gently admonish me

Now I'm a lot older

I hope I am definitely wiser

If only I could be, MAMA,

Half the woman you are!

I'm doing it!

(Image courtesy Forever21.com)

I shy away from politricks(tics) because I do believe that most politicians will say anything to get elected. It has however come to my realization that majority of the people protesting these healthcare reforms have no idea what socialism actually means. And even if they do, they refuse to acknowledge that some of our social institutions e.g public school system, roads etc are socialist ideals. What gets to me the most is the hypocritical behavior of certain Christians who claim they do not want the government to take their money to help the poor!!!

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Wow, what happened to letting mercy rule over justice? It makes my heart heavy to see that some Christians take God's grace for granted. We pretend as if we are so deserving of God's grace and others are not. We act like it is by our doing and our efforts that we obtained God's grace which is free for ALL! Maybe I am not getting it but isn't our focus supposed to be on God's word and doesn't his word say "whatsoever you do to the least of these, you have done unto me"(Matthew 25:40) So why are people opposing healthcare for all?

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I was so alarmed to hear that pastor claim that if someone took a gun and shot Obama, it would not be murder! I am gravely sorry for the people who attend his church. If a doctor gets in trouble for giving the wrong medication, then a preacher should be in a worst situation for putting anyone's soul in danger! We're talking eternal damnation here!

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So yes I did, I went there. If Christians understood the grace which saved them while they were still in their filth, they should be acting better and being gracious to others too! Lord ha' mercy!

Slap in the Face

So I said a prayer for you tonight
Through the hurt and the pain and tears
I said a prayer for you
I asked him to keep you safe
To keep what He's given you safe
To enfold  you in His care

It was the only way I could ease my pain

The one way I knew how to deal with it

Without pity but with empathy

Realized I have this habit

Of putting much importance on my value in friendships

I tend to think of my friends as my family
And almost expect them to behave as such
I've made that mistake several times
But I am yet to learn from it
So to me, you're still my sister friend
And I'm asking Him to give me the strength
To be there for you, to be your shoulder to lean on

I'll say another prayer soon
Hoping that He's watching over you and I
Hanging on to past memories of joy
Obliterating every bitterness from my heart
Do not want to add to your disappointment
Do not want to add to your insecuirty
So I'll keep saying those prayers
Sending warm thoughts and hugs
To you and yours

To spend, To enjoy, To have and To hold!!!

I got there late

Wish I had been early

This disrespectful behavior has got to go

But I made it just in time to see the important parts

They got up with slight awkwardness and nerves

All the while looking like they just stepped out of a magazine

They looked deep into each others eyes

And swore to love and cherish each other forever

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She said "your people will be my people"
He said "I have chosen you above all women, to love"

My heart skipped a beat for them

It brought me back to my own special day

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Orange,Rust,Brown,Chocolate,Green

Music,dance,smiles and laughter

Well wishers and on lookers

Seemed the day was charmed from beginning to end

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Rich display of culture,massive head gears

Flashy jewelry, seemingly easy merging of two families

Blessed from God above

Sealed with a kiss as long as they both shall live!!!

I have come to the conclusion that Nigerians are indeed passionate people who go all out when it comes to celebration. I have never met a group of people who enjoy celebrating life like the Nigerians I have been fortunate to know. I always lament over the exorbitant amounts of money Ghanaians spend on funerals and it does make sense that such amounts should be used in the celebration of life as well. Often times, we go through life stressing out over everything and not living like we should to the fullest. Nigerians, do know how to party it up! Talk of opulence! At certain points, I could barely see all the way to the stage because the head gears had taken over but thank God for long range cameras!

I have heard quite a few of my Ghanaian friends speak strongly against being told to go by a certain color code for a wedding or other celebrations. I did not know exactly how I felt about this issue but after seeing how well coordinated and beautiful it turned out, I have concluded that it is not exactly a crime but I understand that it is not a part of our culture. To tell you the truth, I was in awe at how beautiful it all came together.

Some close friends did what they call the ashoebi, however, I opted out because I could not find a tailor within close proximity to sew for me. The families had matching and coordinated fabrics and "geles" too. I could go on for days about the outfits alone! I was made aware by another friend that typically, Yorubas are "booty" dancers! Every dance had a booty move or two in there somewhere. It was quite delightful to watch both young and old shuffling their feet and shaking their behinds to the infectious rhythms.

I have so much to write I'll end here for now...

Alls well that ends well

I have had a really great week thanks to friends but all good things do come to an end on this side of heaven; or must continue somehow. Excited to see my hubby later tomorrow! So excited to return to blogville to share all that I experienced if I can! whoot! whoot!

Wedded Bliss

I'm off to my first Nigerian wedding in Baltimore this weekend. I am very excited about it 'cos I am looking forward to seeing all the beautiful African designs and Ankara people will be wearing. I wish I was going to be decked out in one of these attires but I have worn all the ones I brought from Ghana. I will do my best not to be intimidated by the good Naija folks and their outfits.(we know how y'all do!)...hehe... Anyways, pardon me if I am unable to update my blog as often as I can this week.

In the mean time, let me know if you have any questions for me or anything you would like me to blog about. I promise I will do my best to answer you. Thanks again for following and reading! Blessings!

Thinking...

My sisters and I(Please do not copy)
All along, I have been thinking that God is making me go through this period of uncertainty in order to bring me to a realization in the end. I learned however, that this really could be the lesson. This period of being still and knowing that God is near!...this is the lesson. It can be frustrating though because I am not used to it. There is so much to think about. Growing up is not fun at all...well sometimes it is.

I have been thinking about how much I miss my sisters lately. I really wish they lived close to me. All my life, my sisters have been a very strong force in my life and I can not imagine my life without them. We have our fair share of fights and disagreements but through it all, we have remained friends and I am so grateful for that. My big sister,Judith, is one of the most selfless and fun people you will ever meet!!!...Joana, is very down to earth and very matter-of-factly. She always tells it as it is without embelishing the truth. I really appreciate her honesty. My little sister,Evie Eve, is so thoughtful and she is a lot like me when it comes to the creative arts. She has an amazing voice too. I guess I am just feeling really homesick.

This past weekend, they had a dinner party for my dad's 60th and I really was agonizing over not being there. I know you can not choose your family but to have your family be your friends too, that's just priceless! I miss y'all!

Tag, I'm It!

This Award was passed on from YNC and I was also tagged, so I have to share seven facts about myself which are listed below:

1. I love music and I sing in a choir(contemporary christian)

2. I've known my husband since 5th grade

3. I don't have a brother(got 3 gorgeous sisters!)

4. I can eat up to 6 or 7 times a day and I usually do eat almost every 3-4 hours till I go to bed...lol... (weigh only about 110-115lbs!...can I get an Amen!)

5. I usually say a prayer of thanks soon as I wake up, followed by a 600 ml bottle of water:)

6. I volunteer(or service-learning) a ton and I think volunteering is awesome... OK borderline amazing!

7. I love shoes!... if only I had a ton of money to buy all the ones I wanted! Anybody related to Christian Louboutin? Can you hook a sister up?...hehe

(Below are the bloggers that I am passing this award along to, and

also tagging)

20savvy

Shels

Amina

I Am My Brother's Keeper!

I watched her as tears streamed down her face

Her words were muffled in pain and confusion

She wanted an outlet from the emotional pain

Needed someone to show that they cared

So she turned to drugs and prostitution

'Cos for those brief moments of pleasure

All the pain seemed to disappear

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I watched her as tears streamed down my face

Her words struck a deep chord within

I wanted to reach out and touch her

Needed to show her that I cared

So I turned to reach for my tissue

Realizing that I was shedding tears for a stranger

He saw the pain I felt for her

...And momentarily turned the TV off...

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(For the lovely tormented soul I saw on TV today,

wish I could have given you a hug)

Photo by Bluepeep88 via photobucket

Thankful Tuesday

Thanks for reading my blog even if you don't follow it! This piece is for you!

My heart is full of gratitude

For the many wondrous gifts

Gifts bestowed on me freely

Unconditional Love too!

My eyes well up when I think of it

The words of encouragement,

Loving family and friends,

Adoring words from strangers too!

Not many words to express it

I may not utter it many times,

But trully and really,

I am most thankful and grateful too!

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe