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Our newest addition,Shane Steven! To God be the glory!

Where did the year go

My blogging has become so sporadic that sometimes I wonder if anyone follows this blog anymore or if my story impacts anyone's life at all. That's quite alright because writing is a creative outlet for me and not my whole life. It allows me to take an inventory of what is going on in my life and gives me the ability to sit back and figure out what I'm doing wrong or right. There is some comfort in knowing that. That said, I wish I could blog more often but if you follow me on instagram or are my friend on facebook, you'd know we have a new addition to our family tree. It gives me much joy and I am grateful to God for all His provision. That'll have to be a whole other blog post for another day.

So I am pondering over going back to work and putting my kids in daycare. Has anyone struggled with this? It kind of breaks my heart a little :-( I need more grace! Parenting a high needs toddler and a newborn is no joke. I have also felt a little stagnant in my relationship with God lately. Moving and all these changes have made it difficult to commit to a church. I love the African church family I have visited here in MN so far but I also yearn for something more. NOT something similar to my church experience in Michigan per se, but a deeper understanding and fellowshipping with other believers would be amazing. Torn!

Anyways, I hope everyone's year is going great. I celebrated another birthday and hopefully I am wiser :-) God Bless!

Uhm

Wowsers! It'e been another century since I blogged. Being a mama is taking it's toll I tell ya! I've moved again and amidst a few wistful emotional moments, I think I have handled it pretty well. So we're in a new state, new city... we have to make new friends,find a new church, meet new coworkers and colleagues. Oh dear Lord, do have mercy! I must say it's going pretty well so far. The worst part for me is finding new healthcare providers that I can trust. Y'all say a prayer for us!

In all of the chaos of setting up house, I have learned that God is faithful. He's been with us through it all. For me especially, I acknowledge that nothing in my life is possible without God's grace and faithfulness. Just the other day I was sharing with my dad what a toll my son's health issues has taken on my faith without even realizing it. You see, sometimes we lose sight of the hereafter when all we see is the chaos of now. I am slowly getting back up to that point where I am so in tune with God and what direction He has for my life. Through my unfaithfulness, He still remains sovereign! Thank You Jesus.

Do say a prayer for my family when you get a minute... the prayers of the righteous availeth much indeed :-)

The "Why"

My husband graduated from business school this past weekend. So ladies and gentlemen, I have a proud Baylor Business MBA holder  under my roof. I am quite excited for the next chapter of our lives. We got together with a couple different families to celebrate the accomplishments of our loved ones and it was during of these encounters that the inspiration for this post was coined up.

There was discussions on an inspirational piece of literature that talks about finding one's "why" in life. This can be the reason for your existence, the reason why you've made certain decisions or are going through a certain situation. I guess finding this "why" gives a purpose to a person's life. It got me thinking about my life. In the last few years I have reflected on many "whys" without a clear answer.

The thing is, in a way, if I knew all the whys in every situation, then my vision will be somewhat distorted and myopic. I somehow need the uncertainties in life in order to see the bigger picture or keep my focus on this above and not focus on just this earthly view. All I can do is do my very best with whatever situation I find myself in. I could explore all the whys to the point of exhaustion and still be back at square one. If I am doing my best, however, then I can be rest assured that He who holds the future will someway, somehow, crown my effort with success.

I don't want to take away from those in hot pursuit of their "why" in life. I am just saying that sometimes, we need to quit the whining, over-analyzing and just be in the moment and ask God to take our hand and lead us home. May you be content with your lot and find that silver lining no matter how dark your cloud might be.

Congratulations again honey, and to everyone who graduated or will be graduating this year, Job well done!

March Madness

I feel like there are so many changes my family is going through this year that it's made it almost impossible to just sit and put my thoughts into words. God's been good :-) So looking forward to hubby being done with school! I was going through "my little basket of treasures" when I came across and old poem/prayer written about 8 years ago. Enjoy

 God bless the poor in spirit

God bless the afflicted soul

God grant the request of the suffering

God's grace be upon the destitute

Fill their days with laughter

Fill their hearts with joy

Fill their waking hours with peace

Fill their minds with Your love

I pray for a quiet spirit that is reflective on and of God's redemptive presence this Easter for each and everyone of us.

© 03/28/2013 Maxine Mosley Totoe

Just as I am

I had one of those full on cry, gratitude, thankful filled moments sometime this week and it was utterly and completely out of the blue. See, I don't celebrate Kyle's milestones in the same way other people do because  if you had been with me the day I was given his diagnosis, you probably would have balled your eyes out(which I did) and maybe questioned if you should have terminated this miracle. My God has been simply amazing with teaching me to be patient or better yet to be "still and know that He is God". What an awesome God!

For me, pregnancy was a fearful place to be. I was worried sick. Fear and trepidation gripped me all the way through but I have had to relearn and understand some aspects of who my God is. He has been the healer God, the provider and my victory. Thank you Jesus for your love and grace!

Chapter 2013, page 2 of 365

THE FIT

I want to walk in your shoes
Be it Louboutin, Louis Vuiton or just Antoine.
To feel every pinch, squeeze and discomfort.
Whether a step, a mile or the whole way through

 

I want to know how you choose your shoes                     
Be it gifted,Thrifted or shoplifted
To know how you buckle, zip or button it
Whether you snap it close or carefully count the holes

 

I will learn to strut in your shoes
Be it well calculated steps, graceful sauntering or haphazard jiggling
To endure with you if even for a fleeting moment
Whether sympathy is displayed or empathy is conveyed

© 01/02/2013 Maxine Mosley Totoe