Thankful Thursday!

I am blessed beyond measure. I could sit and list the things that have gone wrong in my life and how depressing that would be but I choose to be thankful for all my blessings. I really have been blessed beyond what I can ask for or think of. I was complaining about getting older the other day and my husband said "just be thankful for another year of being closer to God and for life itself."(so wise huh?)
I am thankful for God's grace which is unmerited
I am thankful for a wise,loving, diligent and hardworking husband
I am thankful for my Kyle whose life has taught me lessons I never imagined I HAD TO LEARN
I am thankful for family and friends who surprise you with acts of kindness
I am thankful for people who encourage you on a daily basis
I am thankful for the seemingly random people whose actions change peoples life entirely

There is so much to be thankful for today and my heart is bursting that Kyle received a good report on His first cardiology appointment! I could do cartwheels right about now! God is good! Take a moment to be thankful today, you're alive and still here!

Kyle'ogic

I am familiar with your ways
I know how you'll act and react even before you do
Closer look, a finger in your mouth
Look here, look there quick fleeting smile
Another look, do I approve
A nudging smile,you fully laugh

I've known your heart like no other
Even before you entered this world
Your perfect imperfection, an incomplete heart
All the nooks and crannies, bared for all to see
A drug induced look in those days,
Had my heart skipping beats for you

I was called to walk this path with you
The Maker knew I could do it
He chose me for you, to be your mama
He knew it would have to be me
Many nights to be spent cradling you
Like He's done me in times past

I'm familiar with your ways
I know the sounds that calm your fears
Whispers of "I love you", "you are mine"
No matter what storms may come
We will weather it, together
Our coarse has been chartered, yours and mine

9/16/11- Easily one of the toughest days of my entire life. Saw my son laying down so helpless and being vented. His little heart seemed to beating on it's own but I didn't have the guts to take a look. I spent a few minutes at the bedside and balled my eyes out after leaving the unit. I know God is in control so I just let my words be few and give it all unto him. The very core of my faith, our faith, has been shaken but we are not broken because He lives and his word has told us that we will be alright.

I find it so ironic that I was actually reading the book of Job to Kyle on 9/14/11 which was supposed to be the original date of his surgery. It saddened my heart that I let what I saw completely floor me. I looked by sight once again. How could I? I questioned God even though I could not form the words, I did in my heart and my guilt was consuming me. Did my tears mean I did not trust my maker to do what He had said He would?

I could not allow any negative thoughts in at this time. Try as I did, there would be an occasional fleeting thought of doubt and so I decided to listen to music(mostly hillsongs, delirious, paul baloche, josh wilson, britt nicole etc). I hated that it seemed like I was deliberately trying to make things seem better but I have learned that when one is intentional about something, it can produce amazing and often times positive outcomes! It's such things that faith is made up of.

our amazing miracle, Kyle David