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Tuesday, December 29, 2009


Two years of joy
Two years of love
Intense and profound
There's no one else
I would have done it with
No one else
Who could have made it worth my while
Through the ups and the downs
The Laughter and the Tears
Thanks for putting up with me
You'll always be my best.
I ponder not over the rest
We'll do it one day at a time
I pray for long life for us both
And for a home filled with laughter
I love you, Boo!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Once upon a loving

I once was in love with a man
Nought he did could be wrong
I could be huffing and puffing
With his smile I'd lose the heat
I once was in love with a man
At the touch of his hands
All my troubles seemed to melt
And the sorrows would crumble too
I once was in love with a man
He made my heart skip beats
He could set this heart afflutter
With just a little whisper
I once was in love with a man
He said I was the fairest of them all
He promised to hold my heart dear
But he squeezed it too tight...

Thursday, December 17, 2009


This has nothing to do with the movie and it is not a review so sorry if I misled you. Lately, I have been feeling as if I was in a twilight zone. It is not necessarily a bad thing. It just feels quite surreal. First of all, I have never really a attended a church outside of Ghana where everyone refers to the other person as "sister-this-or-that" and "brother-so-and-so"! Seriously! I am not even complaining about it but barely stating the reality. At first I did not really know what to think of it. It just sounded weird to hear someone call me "sister Maxine" as if I was a nun. That's exactly what it reminded me of! Maybe I had joined a convent without knowing? The church is a very lovely place and everyone seems so nice and friendly (well most people) but I don't really want to be "sister" Maxine. Just Maxine will do :)

Oh and I just realized that I always spell the word weird wrongly! Grrr... Glad to have spell check!
Image:Surreal Image by Larry Carlson

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Snow Bunnies

I was so excited about the weather in TX.
Sunny days in the winter, shorts and flip flops in January!
I really was! and then yesterday, I heard it was snowing in Michigan
Beautiful snow flakes that sometimes land oh so softly on your cheeks.
And then I had a yearning for the snow, the boots, the jackets, the hat,
The mittens/gloves,cleaning snow off my car, turning my heat up to 80!
...The whole shibang!
Am I a Michigander? I might be at heart! Weird huh?
I might change my mind before long.
Perhaps a visit back is due soon :)

Sunday, November 29, 2009


And she kept reading...

I know your todays and tomorrows
Give me your yesterdays and sorrows
Just look to me, I'll be your guide
I'll bless your life, I will provide

Trust in me for I do know what you lack
Look ahead, trust in me, don't look back
I have not forgotten or failed you at all
I know your every need, the big and small

I will be with you
Protect your entire life
I love you
Will bless you as husband and wife

I dont even remember the lady's name but her poem reminded me again of God's continued love and faithfulness toward us.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


I listened in silence
As my eyes welled up
Slowly those tears fell
Down my cheeks they trickled

She said "I wrote it this morning"
And I'm sure it was intended for you
I took one more look at her face
And the wild look in her eyes

As she began to read
"My beloved son and daughter, I care
I do love you so give me the burdens you bare
I do understand what you're going through
I know the plans I have for you and what you'll do


How can I not be thankful for His grace and love and providence? I am overly thankful! Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


She said "hello" and "welcome"
She wished this our home will become
She had a bit of a wild look in her eye
Was it excitement or insanity?

She flashed her pearly whites
As she clasped my hand so tight
And said ever so softly
"This here is meant for you"

I never held hands so small
Or experienced His plan so vividly
For in her hand was a piece of poetry
Sent from the lover of my soul! be continued

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Rio Grand Valley

Oh mine! I just realized it's been a week since I posted! I have been so busy and so tired from trying to get the new place all homey and cozy. The Rio Grand Valley really is popping! I met some Ghanaians today! I could not believe my eyes! I was so sure there will be no Ghanaians whatsoever. I knew that I might find at least one Nigerian, but Ghanaian? Never in a million years!

Not that I was looking out for or singling the colored folks out but it helps to know that at least one other colored person has a similar experience to yours. So yeah, I met TWO Ghanaian families today and they were very nice people! Now I don't feel so alone.

This place even has an African shop!Say what!?! Guess where the owner is from? Omo Naija ooo!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Plight of One

Wake up early morn
Everyday after you're born
To yet another day of toil
On the not so fertile soil
Till a land that's desolate
And get to school late
I am not that African child

Never played with toys
Never had a voice
My folks did their best
And I have to do the rest
Old beyond my years
Hopeful future not so near
I am not that African child

May have been cast a better lot
May have played with you as a tot
The years may have changed my view
But I never forget how you grew
I pray your future is brighter
And you've learned to be a fighter
I am this African child...

I think about that African child

*image from

Friday, November 6, 2009

Double Take

So I just realized that I have not read a book since summer! That is terrible. I have been watching way too much TV lately and seriously destroying brain cells.(Thank God for scrabble! Which I play almost everyday online! hehe) I started playing scrabble about a year ago and I really like it. I'm not that good yet but I'm getting there little by little. How often do you read a book? What is best the you have read so far this year? Maybe I might need to pass by Barnes and Noble to pick up a few books.
Does anyone know how to break up a 24 hour drive? I'm wondering if we should do 10 hours/day or 8 hours/day or whatever? What are your thoughts?

In other unrelated news and totally vain information, I got the double take a couple times yesterday! You know on those days when you feel great and it seems nothing can bring you down? Yes, that's how I felt yesterday! I had a spring in my step as I walked with my head held high! Heels are the best~! Have a great day y'all!(I'm turning Texan even before I get there!...hehe)

Monday, November 2, 2009

So so surreal

"I can't believe it"
One more week to the long commute
My heart skips a beat when I think about it
Is it excitement or anxiety
I know not what feeling it is
All I can do is be THANKFUL!

Will I see deer in my backyard like I do now
Will I be able to gaze at the wild turkey from my window
How about the beautiful stray cats with mischievous eyes
What of the beautiful birds with colorful feathers?
Will I find comfort in a different view?
All I can do is be THANKFUL!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Weekend Bliss

Yesterday someone asked if I was happily married and I responded "blissfully so!" I didn't even have to think about it. In my opinion, the honeymoon is only over when you say so! Keep LOVE alive people! Make Love, Not War!... hehe

Have a great weekend. Mine is going to be full of "see you later(s)"... it's never good bye!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Thought Processes

When you touch my face
When you kiss my lips
When our eyes connect
When you changed the game
How you love me best
How I can't deny
How I can't control...
That I love you most!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Forever and a day!

That's how long I feel like it's been since I posted! Pardon my absence from blogging often. I am going through a period of transition and I am a little frazzled and disorganized from it. That's the only excuse I have. Lately though, I have been wondering; what does it really mean to belong? For me, I have always felt a sense of not really belonging to a particular place. Perhaps I am just a restless wanderer? What are your thoughts? Am I the only one who feels like this? With that said, it does not mean I am unhappy or discontent with this state of being :) After all, the only constant in life is change!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Slowly Falling

Feels like I've been in a whirlwind
Slowly but steadily getting out of control
Can't feel the ground beneath me
Calm the wind and the turmoil within
Chase away the dust and the debris
With You I find a place of rest
Solace for my tired mind and feet
Comfort for my weary mind
I'm grounded wherever you are

Thursday, October 15, 2009


She followed him for a while
Driving wildly and tailgating
Weaving through traffic
Maintaining a close distance,
Lest she lost track of him
At every "STOP" sign she'd honk
Trying to get his attention
He'd put his blinkers on
Thinking "just go around me already, crazy person"
Until he got to my stop sign
She signaled for me to stop him
Out flew the little lady in a frenzy
To give her dear husband his packed lunch!


That's how my morning went as I got to the bus stop to wait with my niece and nephew for their school bus. I love older couples! They give me hope! Love is still alive!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Get Acquainted With The Sisters!!!

Admit it, you've probably spent a lot of time thinking about your chest. How can you not, they are right there in front of you and there's no way getting around them! You've probably wondered at how to keep them nice and perky and strong but alas! Gravity is no respector of "breastises". Apparently, cancer may not be either!

Fact- Breast cancer risk increases with age and every woman is at risk

Fact- Men can get breast cancer though it is rare

Fact- More women of African decent have lower survival rate from breast cancer so sister, get acquainted with your sisters(boobies)!

Quite recently, I was watching the news and there was a story about a research going on in Ghana on breast Cancer. Apparently, sometimes the gene or markers for breast cancer do not show up in mammograms especially in African American women and it was found that a section of the population (younger women, pre-menopausal) are more likely to be affected, This form is very aggressive and difficult to treat. It is known as Triple Negative Breast Cancer and is more likely to affect women with African Ancestry! Yikes! You can get the rest of the story here .

So go ahead, Feel Those Boobies purposefully once a month while in the shower! If you don't know how they feel how can you tell if something is not right!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Health Watch!!! -Stroke

Hi everyone, I figured since I'm about to start working again, I should share a few health tit bits with you. This has circulated on the world wide web and you may have read it before but do keep in mind that it is very important to know! It only takes a minute to read this...

A stroke is an interruption of the blood supply to any part of the brain. A stroke is sometimes called a "brain attack." Neurologist say that if they can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours, it is possible to totally reverse the effects of a stroke depending on what type... totally.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE -Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' steps, STR .

Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify..-

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (i.e. It is sunny out today.)

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS. If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediatelyand describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

New Sign of a Stroke ---Stick out Your Tongue

NOTE: Ask the person to 'stick' out his tongue.. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other , that is also an indication that something might not be right.

Have a great weekend!!! Thanks so much for all the encouragement too! I really appreciate it! Hugs!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Journey to the South

I'm southward bound
My heart is doing somersaults in my chest
My mind is in chaos
My emotions know not which persona to take

I'm southward bound
I should, logically and realistically be glad
My home is going to be far away
'Cos he can not come with me yet

I'm southward bound
My heart is going to be left behind
'Cos that's where my home is
Will I ever call you home again?

I'm southward bound
I may not know what you will bring me
I may learn to love you
But never like my beloved home

Some of you may know that I have not worked for the past 2 years. Yep, have not been working a paid job since I got married but I got an offer in Texas! So I am beginning the long commute mentally and physically from Michigan, my beloved Michigan to Texas. I am apprehensive and anxious of what the future may hold for us but I trust that he who holds the future, already knows the plan He has for me! Please do keep the hubby and I in your prayers! Hopefully, I will bring you adventures from the southside!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

~Birthday Thoughts~

Restless mind,
Wondering heart,
Choices to make,
Decisions unmade,
Another year is here,
Don't feel a day older!
Spiritually and personally,
Felt like I was 3 a while ago
Today, I feel 21
Hopefully, I look 18!
Whatever number I may be today,
I hope I made some impact in that time!

Another year, more grace!

Can't wait to eat cake! whoop, whoop!

Friday, October 2, 2009

Incomplete Doc.

I sat up with a jolt
Light bulb came on suddenly
A moment of realization
"I am a work in progress"

Was wondering what perfection was
Why it seems humanly impossible
To attain the unattainable
To be perfect in every sense of the word

Like a poem without a perfect ending
Like an essay to be submitted for a grade
I need constant editing
"I am a work in progress"

Epiphany at long last
I have been Saved!
Just as I do my typed work
Saved for constant editing

My "aha!" moment finally
Someday, the final work will be presented
Then, the work will be complete
Until then, I remain saved!

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Fragrance left on the Heel that Crushed the Flowers!

My friend had a quote on her facebook status and this is what it said: All the water in the world, however hard it tried, could never sink a ship unless it got inside. All the hardships of this world, might wear you pretty thin, but they won't hurt you, one least bit...unless you let them in. (Anonymous)
Isn't that so true? I tend to think of forgiveness or unforgiveness in the same way. In a way not forgiving others can eat at you so much that it can leave you very bitter and and pessimistic about everything in life. It is a struggle to come to that point where you want to forgive people of the hurt and pain they cause you. When you hold on so tightly to whatever memory of wrong doing the other party might have invoked, it is like extra baggage and you will project it on to new relationships and experiences in your life instead of looking at things in a different light.

As the years go by, I have come to realize that the decision to forgive is not an easy one especially if there is a constant reminder of the hurt that was caused. When you decide to get to that point, it will be like the callus that has formed on the wound over the years will slowly start to peel away, layer by layer. It might not be an instant thing; the memory may not disappear suddenly but at least you will be doing yourself a big favor! As I always say, you can not be drinking poison and expect another person to die from the venom. I pray you all have an amazing week and the beginning of fall will bring to you a new beginning in your life as well. Blessings!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Brightens My Face

This was supposed to be an entry for my thankful Thursday but I forgot to publish it so here goes. I hardly ever read Habakkuk. Actually just pronouncing it gets me in giggles and bouts of snickering. However, one of my favorite passages ever is :
Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to go on the heights.

We all know how to show gratitude when something good comes our way or when we meet good fortune but to honestly be thankful in spite of adversity and in the middle of calamity, now that is the mark of a truly grateful heart.

Thanks for Your grace which keeps me humble and accepting of whatever comes my way!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Full Circle

Part of the link in the chain is broken,
Part of the piece that held this fragile bond is gone
She always called me "MINE", her token
And rightfully so 'cos mama named me after her
I always viewed her with awe
Amazed at her depth of insight and lore,
At the command of respect from all
Her name may not be known to all
Yet she remains one of the very best in my world
It was time for your appointment with Him
When it is time for ours, the lights will dim
Broken will be our earthly cord
The links in this chain will be restored

For my Beloved Grandmother !

Friday, September 18, 2009

September Answers- You asked, I'm spilling...

Andrea had three questions for me

1. What made me start blogging
I have always loved journaling! It is a sort of outlet for me to express myself and to think through things without overreacting. When I was much a younger it helped me communicate my thoughts and feelings to my mother and it helped us forge a better relationship. I used to have a personal website a while ago but it disappeared(sob) due to inactivity after I started college. I am usually not afraid to say what is on my mind but over the years I have learned that there needs to be some form of decorum at times so though I still keep a personal journal(which is more about my journey as a wife now), I decided to start an online journal too because my little mind is constantly working and it helps to get some feedback on your thoughts :)

2. What are your strengths and weaknesses
Very thought provoking question, I must say. One of my strengths is unspeakable joy. I am joyful always. I may not be happy all the time but I have this inner peace and joy which keeps me sane and lets me know that no matter what, things will be alright. I suppose you could say I get that from my faith. I am also very passionate about serving and giving without expecting anything in return. I am very friendly and will go out of my way to make strangers comfortable. As a nurse, being a great advocate is one of my strongest suits too. I am very empathetic as well.

Weaknesses: I can get sidetracked sometimes especially when it comes to sticking to the plan. I will take the scenic route over the shortest or practical route. I have blind trust in people. I can be pretty blunt without intending to hurt peoples feelings. Shoes are a weakness too:( I would buy a pair of shoes over getting a good jacket to keep warm in the winter! It is that bad. I am on my way to a cure though.(whoo hooo) I tend to be emotional too :( I blame it on my hormones :)

3. What did you mean by do not copy when you put the picture of your sisters up? Do people do that?
Yes, people do copy pictures just like you can get images from google images. People can use your pictures on their websites or blogs too. I don't mind if it is just mine but I would rather people ask before they do that :)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Have you ever felt like there's so much you want to write that you end up not writing at all? That's how I feel right now. Been wanting to just let it all out but I can't for the life of me figure out what to write first. Time to make a list I suppose!


I did not know how to talk to you

So I left my diary for you

I used to wonder if you loved me

'Cos you always chided me

My young mind thought it was hatred

But you wanted to keep my heart sacred

I like how you used to pray over me

And gently admonish me

Now I'm a lot older

I hope I am definitely wiser

If only I could be, MAMA,

Half the woman you are!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'm doing it!

(Image courtesy
I shy away from politricks(tics) because I do believe that most politicians will say anything to get elected. It has however come to my realization that majority of the people protesting these healthcare reforms have no idea what socialism actually means. And even if they do, they refuse to acknowledge that some of our social institutions e.g public school system, roads etc are socialist ideals. What gets to me the most is the hypocritical behavior of certain Christians who claim they do not want the government to take their money to help the poor!!!
Wow, what happened to letting mercy rule over justice? It makes my heart heavy to see that some Christians take God's grace for granted. We pretend as if we are so deserving of God's grace and others are not. We act like it is by our doing and our efforts that we obtained God's grace which is free for ALL! Maybe I am not getting it but isn't our focus supposed to be on God's word and doesn't his word say "whatsoever you do to the least of these, you have done unto me"(Matthew 25:40) So why are people opposing healthcare for all?
I was so alarmed to hear that pastor claim that if someone took a gun and shot Obama, it would not be murder! I am gravely sorry for the people who attend his church. If a doctor gets in trouble for giving the wrong medication, then a preacher should be in a worst situation for putting anyone's soul in danger! We're talking eternal damnation here!
So yes I did, I went there. If Christians understood the grace which saved them while they were still in their filth, they should be acting better and being gracious to others too! Lord ha' mercy!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Slap in the Face

So I said a prayer for you tonight
Through the hurt and the pain and tears
I said a prayer for you
I asked him to keep you safe
To keep what He's given you safe
To enfold  you in His care
It was the only way I could ease my pain
The one way I knew how to deal with it
Without pity but with empathy
Realized I have this habit
Of putting much importance on my value in friendships
I tend to think of my friends as my family
And almost expect them to behave as such
I've made that mistake several times
But I am yet to learn from it
So to me, you're still my sister friend
And I'm asking Him to give me the strength
To be there for you, to be your shoulder to lean on

I'll say another prayer soon
Hoping that He's watching over you and I
Hanging on to past memories of joy
Obliterating every bitterness from my heart
Do not want to add to your disappointment
Do not want to add to your insecuirty
So I'll keep saying those prayers
Sending warm thoughts and hugs
To you and yours

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

To spend, To enjoy, To have and To hold!!!

I got there late
Wish I had been early
This disrespectful behavior has got to go
But I made it just in time to see the important parts

They got up with slight awkwardness and nerves
All the while looking like they just stepped out of a magazine
They looked deep into each others eyes
And swore to love and cherish each other forever
She said "your people will be my people"
He said "I have chosen you above all women, to love"
My heart skipped a beat for them
It brought me back to my own special day
Music,dance,smiles and laughter
Well wishers and on lookers
Seemed the day was charmed from beginning to end
Rich display of culture,massive head gears
Flashy jewelry, seemingly easy merging of two families
Blessed from God above
Sealed with a kiss as long as they both shall live!!!

I have come to the conclusion that Nigerians are indeed passionate people who go all out when it comes to celebration. I have never met a group of people who enjoy celebrating life like the Nigerians I have been fortunate to know. I always lament over the exorbitant amounts of money Ghanaians spend on funerals and it does make sense that such amounts should be used in the celebration of life as well. Often times, we go through life stressing out over everything and not living like we should to the fullest. Nigerians, do know how to party it up! Talk of opulence! At certain points, I could barely see all the way to the stage because the head gears had taken over but thank God for long range cameras!

I have heard quite a few of my Ghanaian friends speak strongly against being told to go by a certain color code for a wedding or other celebrations. I did not know exactly how I felt about this issue but after seeing how well coordinated and beautiful it turned out, I have concluded that it is not exactly a crime but I understand that it is not a part of our culture. To tell you the truth, I was in awe at how beautiful it all came together.

Some close friends did what they call the ashoebi, however, I opted out because I could not find a tailor within close proximity to sew for me. The families had matching and coordinated fabrics and "geles" too. I could go on for days about the outfits alone! I was made aware by another friend that typically, Yorubas are "booty" dancers! Every dance had a booty move or two in there somewhere. It was quite delightful to watch both young and old shuffling their feet and shaking their behinds to the infectious rhythms.

I have so much to write I'll end here for now...

Alls well that ends well

I have had a really great week thanks to friends but all good things do come to an end on this side of heaven; or must continue somehow. Excited to see my hubby later tomorrow! So excited to return to blogville to share all that I experienced if I can! whoot! whoot!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wedded Bliss

I'm off to my first Nigerian wedding in Baltimore this weekend. I am very excited about it 'cos I am looking forward to seeing all the beautiful African designs and Ankara people will be wearing. I wish I was going to be decked out in one of these attires but I have worn all the ones I brought from Ghana. I will do my best not to be intimidated by the good Naija folks and their outfits.(we know how y'all do!)...hehe... Anyways, pardon me if I am unable to update my blog as often as I can this week.

In the mean time, let me know if you have any questions for me or anything you would like me to blog about. I promise I will do my best to answer you. Thanks again for following and reading! Blessings!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


My sisters and I(Please do not copy)
All along, I have been thinking that God is making me go through this period of uncertainty in order to bring me to a realization in the end. I learned however, that this really could be the lesson. This period of being still and knowing that God is near!...this is the lesson. It can be frustrating though because I am not used to it. There is so much to think about. Growing up is not fun at all...well sometimes it is.

I have been thinking about how much I miss my sisters lately. I really wish they lived close to me. All my life, my sisters have been a very strong force in my life and I can not imagine my life without them. We have our fair share of fights and disagreements but through it all, we have remained friends and I am so grateful for that. My big sister,Judith, is one of the most selfless and fun people you will ever meet!!!...Joana, is very down to earth and very matter-of-factly. She always tells it as it is without embelishing the truth. I really appreciate her honesty. My little sister,Evie Eve, is so thoughtful and she is a lot like me when it comes to the creative arts. She has an amazing voice too. I guess I am just feeling really homesick.

This past weekend, they had a dinner party for my dad's 60th and I really was agonizing over not being there. I know you can not choose your family but to have your family be your friends too, that's just priceless! I miss y'all!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tag, I'm It!

This Award was passed on from YNC and I was also tagged, so I have to share seven facts about myself which are listed below:

1. I love music and I sing in a choir(contemporary christian)

2. I've known my husband since 5th grade

3. I don't have a brother(got 3 gorgeous sisters!)

4. I can eat up to 6 or 7 times a day and I usually do eat almost every 3-4 hours till I go to (weigh only about 110-115lbs!...can I get an Amen!)

5. I usually say a prayer of thanks soon as I wake up, followed by a 600 ml bottle of water:)

6. I volunteer(or service-learning) a ton and I think volunteering is awesome... OK borderline amazing!

7. I love shoes!... if only I had a ton of money to buy all the ones I wanted! Anybody related to Christian Louboutin? Can you hook a sister up?...hehe

(Below are the bloggers that I am passing this award along to, and

also tagging)


Friday, August 28, 2009

I Am My Brother's Keeper!

I watched her as tears streamed down her face
Her words were muffled in pain and confusion
She wanted an outlet from the emotional pain
Needed someone to show that they cared
So she turned to drugs and prostitution
'Cos for those brief moments of pleasure
All the pain seemed to disappear
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I watched her as tears streamed down my face
Her words struck a deep chord within
I wanted to reach out and touch her
Needed to show her that I cared
So I turned to reach for my tissue
Realizing that I was shedding tears for a stranger
He saw the pain I felt for her
...And momentarily turned the TV off...
(For the lovely tormented soul I saw on TV today,
wish I could have given you a hug)
Photo by Bluepeep88 via photobucket

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Thankful Tuesday

Thanks for reading my blog even if you don't follow it! This piece is for you!

My heart is full of gratitude

For the many wondrous gifts

Gifts bestowed on me freely

Unconditional Love too!

My eyes well up when I think of it

The words of encouragement,

Loving family and friends,

Adoring words from strangers too!

Not many words to express it

I may not utter it many times,

But trully and really,

I am most thankful and grateful too!

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Oh yes, I did!

Gross post alert!!!

I have always been afraid of puking!
Yes you heard me, PUKING!
I seriously get really noxious at times but have never puked
Actually I do not ever recall throwing up in all of my adult life!

Anyways, this weekend, I drove up north to visit a friend
We had a really mellow weekend away from the hubby and boyfriend
It was just me, my girlfriend, and the wide open country!
You know you're in the boons when the site of a JC Penney excites you!

So after walking around the "downtown" area we decided to get some food
I ordered a bruschetta, some lamb chops, yummy stuff
My friend ordered a smoked salmon appetizer and lamb chops too
So delicious!

Then we drove back on the high way and took in the scenery of the country side
I forgot for a minute that I get very car sick, hated raw tomatoes and dairy don't agree with me!
We took a couple different turns 'cos girlfriend wanted to show me her neck'a the woods
First a hiccup, then my mouth begun to water and then oh my God!!! I felt like puking!

Before I could utter the words...
All my food came pouring out! I mean full on projectile type!
It was the weirdest feeling ever!
Why are people bulimic again?

It was quite an eventful weekend for me! First puke! nope I'm not preggers either!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Whispers of the heart

She said "I love you"

He said "I love you too"... "and I loved you first!"

He took one look at her face and knew she would say "I love you more"

But he kept right on "I loved you from the first day I saw you,

But you, it took you years to love me... (with a smile and head tilted to one side)...

So technically, I loved you first and I have loved you more"


But she could lay there for years,
To have sweet nothin's whispered in her ears...

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


Tried to express myself in the most articulate way possible

No matter how articulate I was, my expressions fell short

I wish you could have heard my heart speak

'Cos when my mouth tried to form the words, they fell short

Alas, my words failed me.

They say out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks

My heart is full of many beautiful words

But this mouth does not always convey the right message

And my words come out in spurts

It's only a semblance of the image I would like to paint

Only a shadow of what my heart projects...

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe

Sunday, August 16, 2009

District 6

I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien, I'm an Englishman in New York... (Sting and Police)

I saw District 9 this weekned and at first I wondered, "where are they going with this alien ish"? I was not even sure if I liked it and would have left the cinema if we had not paid for it. After the first 15 minutes however, I started wondering if it might be a satire and decided to think of it as such. Apparently, the eviction and relocation of the aliens is based on District Six, a former inner-city residential area in Cape Town, South Africa. The district was declared a 'whites only' area by the apartheid government in 1966 and the population of 60,000 forcibly removed to Cape Flats, 25 kilometres away during the following years.

This movie really got me thinking about Zimbabwe's current situation too. There are so many individuals and organizations with good intentions but when good intentions go bad, who remains to clean up the mess? Ever heard the saying " the road to hell is paved with good intentions? I think various international aid groups need to watch this movie. Sometimes, I feel like everyone wants to do so much good that they forget about the needs of the people in need.

I also begun thinking about America with it's non-immigrant laws which don't really seem to make much sense to me sometimes. At times, it feels almost as if once you are not born here, you are an inferior breed. I wonder if any of those law-makers have any non-immigrant relatives and if they have ever bothered to ask about the challenges of these people. I almost understand why there are so many illegal aliens! I do! How do you pay for legal fees that run in the $1000s and forms that cost an arm and a leg when you are unable to work legally? hmm... The focus of ones help can never be put above the needs of the person in need. Every now and then, we need to evaluate and re-evaluate our decisions. I'm still in thought. I could be wrong.

ps: If you're Nigerian, you MUST see this movie!
pss: 50th post! whoop, whoop!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Her Life

Little sister so young and tender
So much wisdom she’s got to ponder
Tender shoot, root so strong
Uncompromising to please your ideals

In her words
“So I walked on,
Like every other
Didn’t care to turn back
See if the road was right
It felt right
Everyone walked on the same road”

Her joy so infectious
They wonder what happened
She said He did it
So much of Him
Very little of her
Now you look at her
All you see is Him

Little sister so young and tender
So much strength for this offender
Fragile heart, faith renewed
Unshaken reserve to please only Him

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe
Again, if you haven't done so already, check out KRey music @

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Trickery and Disguise

Glossy sultry Lips,
Perfectly arched eye brows,
Eye lashes about an inch long,
Complexion with speckles of gold dust.
Ah, women and their makeup!

I was looking at a couple pictures of mine and I noticed that some of them had me with brownish
lipliner that was a shade too dark than I would have liked.
I am not a beauty expert but when I see people with really dark lip liner or eye shadow on as if they are in a circus act, it really irks me. I have always considered makeup as a way of enhancing or improving ones own features but when you go beyond that and start looking like a clown, you need a second opinion! Some will argue that Make Up is an Art form and if that is the case, then you should be able to express yourself through that. Fair enough, but in doing so, I believe we should make it as natural as possible. I don't really believe much in trends. I'd rather be classy and go with a classic fun look than what new today. Oh by the way, Fall trend for lips is apparentlly super dark shades! Grrr...

How to apply LIPLINER:
1.Outline your lips with a lip liner that is a little darker than your lipstick color. 2.Apply your lipstick using a color that closely matches the lip liner. 3.Use a lipstick brush or your index finger to blend the lip liner with your lipstick. 4.Apply a sheer lipgloss. You just have to keep practising until you get it right.
There are certain occasions which do call for a little bit more than the usual mascara, lipgloss and foundation or concealer. The worst is the fake eyelashes which look like giant tarantulas trying to eat the eyes out! Why people, why at all do we do this to ourselves? I remember my sister took me to a beauty parlor in Ghana about a week to my wedding to get my eyelashes filled in. Mind you they are already long. They were individually filled in and looked quite natural but it hurt like crazy too. I wondered for a minute in that chair I was strapped in, if this was some sort of torcher chamber. It could very well have been with the kind of painful moans and groans from different corners of the room.
I guess my point is, keep it natural and not too harsh or severe!

By the way, Ken Reynold's CD's are now available and can be previewed here It also has links to where you can purchase it. I have been blessed by this CD and I hope you will be too! God Bless!

Monday, August 10, 2009


Hi Bloggers! It is Today!
My Worship pastor, Ken Reynolds with Reslife choir(My church choir), Madison Square choir and New Hope choir in association with Integrity Music will have the Album release of the recent CD One World/One God. This is an amazing CD! I can't wait to get my copy. People if you want a really great worship and praise experience, you have to order a copy! The CD release is today August 11th! Follow this link for a preview!
If you listen hard enough, you might hear me singing! If you live in the Grand Rapids area, the concert to celebrate the CD release is August 16th! Be prepared for an amazing worship/praise experience!
I also encourage you to join the official Ken Reynolds Facebook Fan Page: or you can also follow him if you are on Twitter at KReynoldsMusic . Thank you so much, God Bless!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Water, Water, Everywhere!

Well as some of you have figured out already, I am a health nut of some sort. Not my fault, it's the Nurse in me. When I was younger, my mum used to have a glass of water by her bedside every morning and I used to wonder why she would do that. I hated drinking water unless it had some sugar in it or was carbonated! She always encouraged us to drink a tall glass of water and I guess she was on to something. Here goes...
... DRINK WATER ON EMPTY STOMACH. Apparently, it is popular in Japan today to drink water immediately after waking up every morning. Furthermore, scientific tests have proven its value. Now I can not vouch for these research claims but I can attest to the fact that drinking water on an empty stomach in the morning, gives me the same boost of energy as eating a small bowl of cereal and also gets your metabolism going! Just try it for a week and see if you don't feel better. I also aim to drink at least 4 bottles( 600ml) each day! I realize that most of the time, the majority of colored people admitted while I was working at the hospital were dehydrated so consider this my little campaign to get us hydrated! Quench your thirst, people!

Also, the following fruits are dear to my heart and if you are not a huge fan of Bananas like myself, you can substitute with Plantains.

Bananas: Protects your heart , Quiets a cough ,Strengthens bones ,Controls blood pressure, Blocks diarrhea

Blueberries: Combats cancer, Protects your heart,Stabilizes blood sugar,Boosts memory, Prevents constipation

Broccoli: Strengthens bones,Saves eyesight,Combats cancer, Protects your heart,Controls blood pressure
Cabbage: Combats cancer,Prevents constipation,Promotes weight loss,Protects your heart,
Helps hemorrhoids

Have a happy and Healthy Monday!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Scheduling Conflict?

I thought about you today
As I got up from my bed
All I could think of was you
I wanted to talk
Slowly I pushed myself up
With my right hand
Sat at the edge of the bed for a few minutes

Then I thought to myself:
Did he give me a kiss good morning/good bye?

I kept thinking about you
As I walked to the bathroom
Subconsciously, I whispered "Thank You"
And did the usual " a couple silly faces to make me smile"
I stared back at the image
And wondered why you gave me these features
Walked purposefully to the kitchen...

Then I thought to myself:
Did I eat too much dairy again?

I'm still thinking about you
1,2,3 O'clock come by
Emails checked, replied,
Facebook checked and stalked
Blogspot checked, new followers
Mine, where did the time go
Turned the TV on to while away the time
Then I thought to myself:
Did I call him already?

I thought about you
I know it felt like I was stalling
I could have made the contact there and then
Is it OK if I don't talk to you today?
Would you understand if I pretend that's okay?
Would you always care anyways?
Whether words are spoken or not?

Then I thought to myself:
Does it even matter?

So here I am at the close of today
Still thinking about you
Wishing I could talk to you
Cluttered my world with unnecessary chatter
Confused myself with insignificant banter
When all the while you watched on with a smile
Thinking of me as another day begins

Monday, August 3, 2009


Why do they say they "fell" in Love?
In my experience a fall comes with pain and hurt
So would falling in love give you a positive outcome?
What would happen if you were to rise in love?

If we were smart we will "grow" in love , I think
Growing comes with hopes of better days and renewal
So growth in love is my fervent prayer
That hearts maybe safe from the hurt that come with falling in love

image by karinkazune2 via photobucket

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Refusing to be disillusioned is the cause of much of the suffering of human life.
... And this is how that suffering happens;
When we love someone we demand total perfection and righteousness from them,
and when this does not happen, we become cruel and vindictive;
Yet we are demanding of a human being something he/she can not possibly give...
If our trust is placed in human beings, we will end up despairing of everyone!
I say there is only one Being who can completely satisfy to the absolute depth
of the hurting human heart!
(paraphrasing Oswald Chambers~)
Ask yourslef, are you disillusioned? It means having no misconceptions, false impressions,
False judgements in life; it means being free from these deceptions!
Lofty thought are good... as long as you acknowledge that they are not necessarily the ideal.
Becoming stripped of your illusions can be an absolutely painful experience;
Growing up and maturing, not so fun but it has its perks :)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009


You meet and through some commonality you become friends
Then you meet at a different time and she/he kind of ignores you
You say hi and they respond with a quick and courteous hello
Then another time they relate to you an experience in their life
And everything feels like the first time you met

"There's two sides to this person", you think
There's days when they are present in their body
There's days when they do not remember you
But that's cool 'cos when they remember, you're still there
And you'll always be that sister, 'cos you really can't choose your family

Backgrounds seem similar
So why can't you relate?
Money ain't a thing and no situation is permanent, my friend
Just remember that no matter what, we both want to please Him
And he only looks at the heart, not what's on the outside

So yeah, you try to put it out of your mind
Maybe you're just being paranoid
Is that smile genuine or not?
Didn't mean to steal your shine, friend
And remember, you're a star all your own...

Monday, July 27, 2009

Keep Your Feet Off The Seat!

Before I said I do, I wasn't big into movies but the SO is like a movie-holic and it is interesting to see the intensity with which he watches this fictitious stories. Sometimes he says he was born in the wrong era; he secretly wishes he had been born in the days of King Arthur! But, brother-man is mocha choco-latte and probably would have ended up as a stable boy or some other lower class job instead of the knight he wishes he could be! lol... Chivalry, is not quite dead yet people!

I usually try my very best to be quiet and not disturb much at the movies. Some people, however, know nothing about movie etiquette. Sometimes, if something really upsets me at the movies, I might sigh a little too loudly or grab Tomeister's arm so tightly that the circulation might be cut off. Some people seem to have appointed themselves as commentators and live movie critics while the show is going on. What gives these people the right to point out what is going on in every scene when I can see it for myself? Really!?!!!!

What is the point in talking to the characters when they can not here you? "Don't go down there", she screams. "I told you not to go down there", "Now you gon' get it". People, please refrain from this. It is absolutely irritating! Not cool!

Anyways, that's just a little rant 'cos this was getting under my skin just a tad bit. I hope everyone is having a fabulous Monday! New week, new beginnings! Good Luck and God Bless!

Saturday, July 25, 2009


Ha! Not so easy after all. Thanks for tagging me YNC! your original did not have a number 8 though :) If you are reading, consider yourself tagged!

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

My Letter is "M"!

1. What is your name: Maxine
2. A four Letter Word: (a clean one?): Milk
3. A boy's Name: Maxwell
4. A girl's Name: Marilyn
5. An occupation: Mechanical Engineer
6. A color: Mauve
7. Something you wear: Mascara
8. Any website: ( ha ha...could not help it)
9. A food: Meat Pie
10. Something found in the bathroom: Moisturizer
11. A place: Miami
12. A reason for being late: Missed bus
13. Something you shout: Move!
14. A movie title: Mannequin
15. Something you drink: Malta Guinness (I’m West African!)
16. A musical group: Manatee
17. An animal: Moose
18. A street name: Marshwood Drive
19. A type of car: Mazda
20. The title of a song: Mighty To Save by Hillsong United

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Fellow Traveller

This is to my Fellow traveller on this journey called life. He pushed me to think of the possibilities that lay ahead of me if only I will let go of my fears. It is also dedicated to those who have lost the love they once knew. Here is my encouragement to you to find that passion again!

He said, she said, they said, we agreed
We talked about old tasks and deeds
Three nods, three hands, and eyes connect
We make a pact to stay in touch

He said, she said, they said all forgotten
All hopes and dreams appear abandoned
One thought, one touch and all's remembered
We come together, a pact to fulfil

He said, she said, they said again
This journey is long but begin we must
Your burden is mine and mine is yours
We take this step, our pact renewed

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe