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Friday, October 23, 2009

Forever and a day!


That's how long I feel like it's been since I posted! Pardon my absence from blogging often. I am going through a period of transition and I am a little frazzled and disorganized from it. That's the only excuse I have. Lately though, I have been wondering; what does it really mean to belong? For me, I have always felt a sense of not really belonging to a particular place. Perhaps I am just a restless wanderer? What are your thoughts? Am I the only one who feels like this? With that said, it does not mean I am unhappy or discontent with this state of being :) After all, the only constant in life is change!

16 comments:

Nana Yaw Asiedu said...

In many ways, I feel like you. I feel I belong to and in Ghana. But in Ghana, I do not really feel I belong anywhere in particular. I usually do not feel I belong with any people in particular. But then again, sometimes, that changes.The one place I have almost always belonged is within me!

Lady Jaye said...

My feelings of belongings are strongest in Ghana - my land. Here in the US, I don't think i've ever felt a sense of belonging for more than a few days at a time. Even in Ghana though, I sometimes feel as if i don't belong with people - it's like I just belong on the land. At other times I feel like i don't belong because i don't belong - my home is not in this world, and then i can't wait to die so i can go home. But at other times, I am too busy belonging with my friends or family to bother about that nagging sense of not belonging in this world.

Sankofa said...

Did you feel that way even when you were in Ghana? Is it a national identity thing or just in general? Either way, I totally get what you mean. I'm still waiting to feel 100% at "home" somewhere. Maybe it's not meant to be.

Also good luck with the transition. Don't forget to take a moment or two each day to just breathe!

Myne Whitman said...

I can understand your feeling of not belonging. I have moved in three continents in less than one year. All the best with your transitions...

Maxine said...

@NYA- Kindred Spirits huh?hehe... hmmm to belong withing yourself? what does that feel like?

@Lady Jaye- "my home is not in this world"- I completely get you on that. Maybe that's the reason we are restless but content?

@Sankofa- Yeah I felt like that even in Ghana. It does not mean I don't love being in Ghana. I feel very happy and mostly content when in Ghana. More so than other places but sometimes, you can't help that feeling of not really belonging especially if you have not lived in one place all your life in Ghana.

@Myne- 3 continents? Wow! I hope you meet people who at least make you feel comfortable!

Shels said...

Chale I know exactly where you're coming from. Its like I feel like Ghana is my home and where my heart is..but when I went this christmas, and it was time to leave, i was actually looking forward to going back cos chale, i was just tired of ghana, not tired of my family and friends in ghana o, just some of the nonsense...then in the states too, i am always complaining about how chale i dun like it..so i went to London for a semester, and though i love london, i want to go home..funny thing, guess where i mean when i say i want to go home? ... not Ghana...smh!i guess at d end of d day, home is where my mother is.

Maxine said...

@Shels- You're so right. I always say home is wherever my loved ones are! I can identify with those feelings!... very puzzling...SMH!

yankeenaijababe said...

I know new job causes one to think of many things, how is the new job going by the way and relocating to another place, wow, a lot on your place.

My feeling of belonging to a particual place is my hubby's heart. I just want to keep living there for the rest of my life. For real, as long as he is by my side, my life feels perfect.

Anonymous said...

I can definately relate. Have felt this way for a VERY long time indeed. I am yet to find belonging.

In Ghana, I felt like an outsider in school , at work...but since I've been in the States I feel like the door was shut...with me still outside.

I want to go back 'home' but that's a scarey prospect because I left trying to find 'home' and going back feels like digressing.

I feel I belong in my head and sometimes my heart agrees. Still dealing with these issues before I can afford to let someone in, because I want to let someone in. It's lonely up in my head sometimes...sometimes it echoes.

Man, do I sound like a psychologist's wet dream right now...oh well...from the abundance of the heart...

Maxine said...

@YNC- That kind of belonging brings you the most comfort :)

@Anonymous- Between a rock and a hard place right?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this post. I always felt I was the only one who ever felt this way...

Maxine said...

@Anonymous #2- I am glad this seems to be a general feeling. Perhaps the saying that "all the world is a stage and all the men and women, players(actors)" is true? Otherwise we would all not look like we're alright all the time. I hope we each find someone, someplace, something to belong to :)

Merrymary said...

I think my "unbelonging" - is that even a word doesnt have to do with place becos I think people are resilient and can adapt to any place, country, people... so its more to do with the people and place adapting to us.. its oh so confusing is what it is!!!sometimes i feel a sense of belonging and its normally to do with how i am feeling or where I am in life and blah blah blah u get the picturexxx

Maxine said...

@Mary- Yep, I feel you on that. "Unbelonging"- we might have to come up with a new dictionary!

Lady A said...

You are so not alone! I feel the very same way. Matter of fact, I tried to put a list together of things I would like to accomplish. I feel like I am all over the place, but have nothing to show for.

Be at peace and everything will work out. God got your back!

Maxine said...

@Lady A- I think as long as you're at peace and know God's got you, you'll be fine :)