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Friday, May 21, 2010

Mind Games

Today, or rather, the past 48 hours has been full of thinking, planning, strategizing, understanding or not quite grasping certain things. I guess when I think about it, everyday really is like that. I had my first +PPD test (skin test for TB) which freaks me out to no end because I have decided to take the preventive medications. I have not worked out in more than 3 months and I had a knife-like pain in my chest which scared me even the more. Health scares just plain bother me. Now I feel like I need to get my cholesterol level checked out too.

That's jsut the beginning and end of the day but in between, I had plenty to keep me occupied. From here says to actual verifiable information; it has been quite a full 48 hours. In all of it, I found myself taking in a deep breathe and saying a prayer every now and then. I compared my reactions to situations from a year ago to currently and I realized I have come very far. I am still passionate and a little hot headed at times, especially if anyone or anything I love is threathened or disrespected. But the hubby has indeed rubbed off on me. I am becoming cool like him!...hehe

Perhaps that's just not it. I am learning to let God take absolute control of every aspect of my life so that I do not limit him to just a certain area. Imagine being given a manual by an inventor/designer and then when it came to assembling the part, you would try and do it however you want but only ask the creator for instructions when you were in a bind. Meanwhile he looked on with much agony over your countless mistakes yet he never ceased to give you the right direction when you asked. That's what I am trying to avoid. I want to consult the creator and his manual first before attempting to assemble my parts.

I admit, I do need help figuring out which bolt or screw goes where. Most of all, I need help in remembering to as for help!