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Friday, May 21, 2010

Mind Games

Today, or rather, the past 48 hours has been full of thinking, planning, strategizing, understanding or not quite grasping certain things. I guess when I think about it, everyday really is like that. I had my first +PPD test (skin test for TB) which freaks me out to no end because I have decided to take the preventive medications. I have not worked out in more than 3 months and I had a knife-like pain in my chest which scared me even the more. Health scares just plain bother me. Now I feel like I need to get my cholesterol level checked out too.

That's jsut the beginning and end of the day but in between, I had plenty to keep me occupied. From here says to actual verifiable information; it has been quite a full 48 hours. In all of it, I found myself taking in a deep breathe and saying a prayer every now and then. I compared my reactions to situations from a year ago to currently and I realized I have come very far. I am still passionate and a little hot headed at times, especially if anyone or anything I love is threathened or disrespected. But the hubby has indeed rubbed off on me. I am becoming cool like him!...hehe

Perhaps that's just not it. I am learning to let God take absolute control of every aspect of my life so that I do not limit him to just a certain area. Imagine being given a manual by an inventor/designer and then when it came to assembling the part, you would try and do it however you want but only ask the creator for instructions when you were in a bind. Meanwhile he looked on with much agony over your countless mistakes yet he never ceased to give you the right direction when you asked. That's what I am trying to avoid. I want to consult the creator and his manual first before attempting to assemble my parts.

I admit, I do need help figuring out which bolt or screw goes where. Most of all, I need help in remembering to as for help!


Myne Whitman said...

This is very important that we do. Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend and take care..

Anonymous said...

FYI As a Ghanaian you were probably vaccinated against TB in childhood (BCG vaccine) so it's likely that your skin test will be positive, but it doesn't mean that you have TB, only that you've had a prior exposure (the vaccine) to TB. Just giving you a heads up so that you don't freak out if it does.

Maxine said...

@Myne- Thanks

@Anonymous- I converted after I moved to the states and my PPD has never been positive even right after getting one when I moved here so living here must put me at a higher risk. That's my conclusion. That's why I am freaked out :O Thanks for the heads up :)

Ghana_Hall_of_Shame said...

Letting God take absolute control of EVERY thing (big medium & small) is the right thing to do. Not easy but keep working on it. I'm trying to do the same too.


Maxine said...

@Mike- I know it's not easy at all especially when you're used to planning, planning, planning! But I'm learning he makes ALL things beautiful in His time :)