The Fragrance left on the Heel that Crushed the Flowers!

My friend had a quote on her facebook status and this is what it said: All the water in the world, however hard it tried, could never sink a ship unless it got inside. All the hardships of this world, might wear you pretty thin, but they won't hurt you, one least bit...unless you let them in. (Anonymous)

Isn't that so true? I tend to think of forgiveness or unforgiveness in the same way. In a way not forgiving others can eat at you so much that it can leave you very bitter and and pessimistic about everything in life. It is a struggle to come to that point where you want to forgive people of the hurt and pain they cause you. When you hold on so tightly to whatever memory of wrong doing the other party might have invoked, it is like extra baggage and you will project it on to new relationships and experiences in your life instead of looking at things in a different light.

As the years go by, I have come to realize that the decision to forgive is not an easy one especially if there is a constant reminder of the hurt that was caused. When you decide to get to that point, it will be like the callus that has formed on the wound over the years will slowly start to peel away, layer by layer. It might not be an instant thing; the memory may not disappear suddenly but at least you will be doing yourself a big favor! As I always say, you can not be drinking poison and expect another person to die from the venom. I pray you all have an amazing week and the beginning of fall will bring to you a new beginning in your life as well. Blessings!

Brightens My Face

This was supposed to be an entry for my thankful Thursday but I forgot to publish it so here goes. I hardly ever read Habakkuk. Actually just pronouncing it gets me in giggles and bouts of snickering. However, one of my favorite passages ever is :

Habakkuk 3:17-19

17 Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

19 The Sovereign LORD is my strength;

he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,

he enables me to go on the heights.

We all know how to show gratitude when something good comes our way or when we meet good fortune but to honestly be thankful in spite of adversity and in the middle of calamity, now that is the mark of a truly grateful heart.

Thanks for Your grace which keeps me humble and accepting of whatever comes my way!

Full Circle

Part of the link in the chain is broken,
Part of the piece that held this fragile bond is gone
She always called me "MINE", her token
And rightfully so 'cos mama named me after her
I always viewed her with awe
Amazed at her depth of insight and lore,
At the command of respect from all
Her name may not be known to all
Yet she remains one of the very best in my world
It was time for your appointment with Him
When it is time for ours, the lights will dim
Broken will be our earthly cord
The links in this chain will be restored

For my Beloved Grandmother !

September Answers- You asked, I'm spilling...

Andrea had three questions for me

1. What made me start blogging

I have always loved journaling! It is a sort of outlet for me to express myself and to think through things without overreacting. When I was much a younger it helped me communicate my thoughts and feelings to my mother and it helped us forge a better relationship. I used to have a personal website a while ago but it disappeared(sob) due to inactivity after I started college. I am usually not afraid to say what is on my mind but over the years I have learned that there needs to be some form of decorum at times so though I still keep a personal journal(which is more about my journey as a wife now), I decided to start an online journal too because my little mind is constantly working and it helps to get some feedback on your thoughts :)

2. What are your strengths and weaknesses

Very thought provoking question, I must say. One of my strengths is unspeakable joy. I am joyful always. I may not be happy all the time but I have this inner peace and joy which keeps me sane and lets me know that no matter what, things will be alright. I suppose you could say I get that from my faith. I am also very passionate about serving and giving without expecting anything in return. I am very friendly and will go out of my way to make strangers comfortable. As a nurse, being a great advocate is one of my strongest suits too. I am very empathetic as well.

Weaknesses: I can get sidetracked sometimes especially when it comes to sticking to the plan. I will take the scenic route over the shortest or practical route. I have blind trust in people. I can be pretty blunt without intending to hurt peoples feelings. Shoes are a weakness too:( I would buy a pair of shoes over getting a good jacket to keep warm in the winter! It is that bad. I am on my way to a cure though.(whoo hooo) I tend to be emotional too :( I blame it on my hormones :)

3. What did you mean by do not copy when you put the picture of your sisters up? Do people do that?

Yes, people do copy pictures just like you can get images from google images. People can use your pictures on their websites or blogs too. I don't mind if it is just mine but I would rather people ask before they do that :)

Bursting

Have you ever felt like there's so much you want to write that you end up not writing at all? That's how I feel right now. Been wanting to just let it all out but I can't for the life of me figure out what to write first. Time to make a list I suppose!

FOR MAMA!

I did not know how to talk to you

So I left my diary for you

I used to wonder if you loved me

'Cos you always chided me

My young mind thought it was hatred

But you wanted to keep my heart sacred

I like how you used to pray over me

And gently admonish me

Now I'm a lot older

I hope I am definitely wiser

If only I could be, MAMA,

Half the woman you are!

I'm doing it!

(Image courtesy Forever21.com)

I shy away from politricks(tics) because I do believe that most politicians will say anything to get elected. It has however come to my realization that majority of the people protesting these healthcare reforms have no idea what socialism actually means. And even if they do, they refuse to acknowledge that some of our social institutions e.g public school system, roads etc are socialist ideals. What gets to me the most is the hypocritical behavior of certain Christians who claim they do not want the government to take their money to help the poor!!!

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Wow, what happened to letting mercy rule over justice? It makes my heart heavy to see that some Christians take God's grace for granted. We pretend as if we are so deserving of God's grace and others are not. We act like it is by our doing and our efforts that we obtained God's grace which is free for ALL! Maybe I am not getting it but isn't our focus supposed to be on God's word and doesn't his word say "whatsoever you do to the least of these, you have done unto me"(Matthew 25:40) So why are people opposing healthcare for all?

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I was so alarmed to hear that pastor claim that if someone took a gun and shot Obama, it would not be murder! I am gravely sorry for the people who attend his church. If a doctor gets in trouble for giving the wrong medication, then a preacher should be in a worst situation for putting anyone's soul in danger! We're talking eternal damnation here!

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So yes I did, I went there. If Christians understood the grace which saved them while they were still in their filth, they should be acting better and being gracious to others too! Lord ha' mercy!

Slap in the Face

So I said a prayer for you tonight
Through the hurt and the pain and tears
I said a prayer for you
I asked him to keep you safe
To keep what He's given you safe
To enfold  you in His care

It was the only way I could ease my pain

The one way I knew how to deal with it

Without pity but with empathy

Realized I have this habit

Of putting much importance on my value in friendships

I tend to think of my friends as my family
And almost expect them to behave as such
I've made that mistake several times
But I am yet to learn from it
So to me, you're still my sister friend
And I'm asking Him to give me the strength
To be there for you, to be your shoulder to lean on

I'll say another prayer soon
Hoping that He's watching over you and I
Hanging on to past memories of joy
Obliterating every bitterness from my heart
Do not want to add to your disappointment
Do not want to add to your insecuirty
So I'll keep saying those prayers
Sending warm thoughts and hugs
To you and yours

To spend, To enjoy, To have and To hold!!!

I got there late

Wish I had been early

This disrespectful behavior has got to go

But I made it just in time to see the important parts

They got up with slight awkwardness and nerves

All the while looking like they just stepped out of a magazine

They looked deep into each others eyes

And swore to love and cherish each other forever

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She said "your people will be my people"
He said "I have chosen you above all women, to love"

My heart skipped a beat for them

It brought me back to my own special day

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Orange,Rust,Brown,Chocolate,Green

Music,dance,smiles and laughter

Well wishers and on lookers

Seemed the day was charmed from beginning to end

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Rich display of culture,massive head gears

Flashy jewelry, seemingly easy merging of two families

Blessed from God above

Sealed with a kiss as long as they both shall live!!!

I have come to the conclusion that Nigerians are indeed passionate people who go all out when it comes to celebration. I have never met a group of people who enjoy celebrating life like the Nigerians I have been fortunate to know. I always lament over the exorbitant amounts of money Ghanaians spend on funerals and it does make sense that such amounts should be used in the celebration of life as well. Often times, we go through life stressing out over everything and not living like we should to the fullest. Nigerians, do know how to party it up! Talk of opulence! At certain points, I could barely see all the way to the stage because the head gears had taken over but thank God for long range cameras!

I have heard quite a few of my Ghanaian friends speak strongly against being told to go by a certain color code for a wedding or other celebrations. I did not know exactly how I felt about this issue but after seeing how well coordinated and beautiful it turned out, I have concluded that it is not exactly a crime but I understand that it is not a part of our culture. To tell you the truth, I was in awe at how beautiful it all came together.

Some close friends did what they call the ashoebi, however, I opted out because I could not find a tailor within close proximity to sew for me. The families had matching and coordinated fabrics and "geles" too. I could go on for days about the outfits alone! I was made aware by another friend that typically, Yorubas are "booty" dancers! Every dance had a booty move or two in there somewhere. It was quite delightful to watch both young and old shuffling their feet and shaking their behinds to the infectious rhythms.

I have so much to write I'll end here for now...

Alls well that ends well

I have had a really great week thanks to friends but all good things do come to an end on this side of heaven; or must continue somehow. Excited to see my hubby later tomorrow! So excited to return to blogville to share all that I experienced if I can! whoot! whoot!

Wedded Bliss

I'm off to my first Nigerian wedding in Baltimore this weekend. I am very excited about it 'cos I am looking forward to seeing all the beautiful African designs and Ankara people will be wearing. I wish I was going to be decked out in one of these attires but I have worn all the ones I brought from Ghana. I will do my best not to be intimidated by the good Naija folks and their outfits.(we know how y'all do!)...hehe... Anyways, pardon me if I am unable to update my blog as often as I can this week.

In the mean time, let me know if you have any questions for me or anything you would like me to blog about. I promise I will do my best to answer you. Thanks again for following and reading! Blessings!

Thinking...

My sisters and I(Please do not copy)
All along, I have been thinking that God is making me go through this period of uncertainty in order to bring me to a realization in the end. I learned however, that this really could be the lesson. This period of being still and knowing that God is near!...this is the lesson. It can be frustrating though because I am not used to it. There is so much to think about. Growing up is not fun at all...well sometimes it is.

I have been thinking about how much I miss my sisters lately. I really wish they lived close to me. All my life, my sisters have been a very strong force in my life and I can not imagine my life without them. We have our fair share of fights and disagreements but through it all, we have remained friends and I am so grateful for that. My big sister,Judith, is one of the most selfless and fun people you will ever meet!!!...Joana, is very down to earth and very matter-of-factly. She always tells it as it is without embelishing the truth. I really appreciate her honesty. My little sister,Evie Eve, is so thoughtful and she is a lot like me when it comes to the creative arts. She has an amazing voice too. I guess I am just feeling really homesick.

This past weekend, they had a dinner party for my dad's 60th and I really was agonizing over not being there. I know you can not choose your family but to have your family be your friends too, that's just priceless! I miss y'all!