lately

So am I an idealist or just plain delusional? I choose gratitude and refuse to feed into misery because misery does love company. Call me crazy but focusing on the positives and being thankful has proven to be a lot more beneficial to my overall well being than the opposite. I have had my fair share of pain and I struggle with it on a constant basis to be grateful in life but God has been good through it all. Even in the times when my vision is tunneled and all I visualize is the distraction and uncertainty and heartache.

Why do people refuse to see that gratitude is the mark of maturity in several areas of life? Why do people get mad when others remain positive no matter their circumstances? Oh wait, misery loves company! I am sure it is quite annoying to see other people's lives as perfect while your's remains drab, boring and full of pain but for the love of all that is good, please don't compare your life to another's. You do not know their struggle or hassle. You only see a snippet of a person's life online and it is mostly just the good that is put out there. Don't believe the hollywood hype either. Real life is full of highs and lows and no situation is permanent. If you're down right now, dust yourself and get back up. Keep pressing on.

these days and times

It's been increasingly difficult to find time to take a shower let alone sit and write a blog post. Who knew having two kids under three could be such a challenge! As I always say, I have so much respect and appreciation for my parents after becoming one myself. Granted they had a lot of extended family to help but it is still not an easy task. Parenting requires a lot of grace and I need more than I can handle :)

So far this year has been full of downs. First Kyle got pneumonia, then double ear infection and keeps getting sick at daycare partly because he mouths everything and his immune system is apparently not strong enough so he keeps getting everyone's germs. Grrr... Then there's the joys of living in the frozen tundra and having schools and daycares close several times so one of us has to miss work and stay home. Who's going to be paying for these hospital bills when we can't even work a full week without all these interruptions? Oh and I got in an accident just when I thought things were looking up finally! Hahaha... God must have had a good laugh :-)

Truth is, I know nothing I do or don't do will separate me from the love of God but lately I've been feeling a little distant. I've not prayed as much. The few times I string a sentence together, it always seems like a petition or request. I feel emotionally tired, drained, physically weak, mentally challenged and just all around frustrated. There are days when I want to look up and shake my  fist at God and then I am reminded of the book of Job! Who am I to be questioning the almighty when I was not present as He laid the foundations for this earth?

For now, I am going to take it each day at a time. Some days are full of victories and others are not. I remember praying the prayer of Agur and it has been such a reality in my life. It really is true that if you ask to be in God's will, you had better make sure that you're ready for it or the reality of His will concerning your life will put you in total and complete shock.
 Lord grant me more grace to live for You