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Thursday, February 13, 2014

these days and times

It's been increasingly difficult to find time to take a shower let alone sit and write a blog post. Who knew having two kids under three could be such a challenge! As I always say, I have so much respect and appreciation for my parents after becoming one myself. Granted they had a lot of extended family to help but it is still not an easy task. Parenting requires a lot of grace and I need more than I can handle :)

So far this year has been full of downs. First Kyle got pneumonia, then double ear infection and keeps getting sick at daycare partly because he mouths everything and his immune system is apparently not strong enough so he keeps getting everyone's germs. Grrr... Then there's the joys of living in the frozen tundra and having schools and daycares close several times so one of us has to miss work and stay home. Who's going to be paying for these hospital bills when we can't even work a full week without all these interruptions? Oh and I got in an accident just when I thought things were looking up finally! Hahaha... God must have had a good laugh :-)

Truth is, I know nothing I do or don't do will separate me from the love of God but lately I've been feeling a little distant. I've not prayed as much. The few times I string a sentence together, it always seems like a petition or request. I feel emotionally tired, drained, physically weak, mentally challenged and just all around frustrated. There are days when I want to look up and shake my  fist at God and then I am reminded of the book of Job! Who am I to be questioning the almighty when I was not present as He laid the foundations for this earth?

For now, I am going to take it each day at a time. Some days are full of victories and others are not. I remember praying the prayer of Agur and it has been such a reality in my life. It really is true that if you ask to be in God's will, you had better make sure that you're ready for it or the reality of His will concerning your life will put you in total and complete shock.
 Lord grant me more grace to live for You

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