You there

I try, all day long
To sit and reminisce
On all you do for me


I try, every single moment
To express the gratitude
That's overflowing in my heart

I try, to understand you
To feel you entirely,
I'll be content with who you are

I try, but not hard enough
To make it all known
But I have not lived long enough

Puzzle, fuzzle, buzzle

Thoughts in a puddle
Love the sinner, loathe the sin
How do you identify the sinner
It says "by their deeds, ye shall know 'em"

Is that what He did when he loved me first?
Identified me, loved me all the same
In spite of my questionable identity
My telltale sins did not hinder Him

Love the sinner, loathe the sins
I've been left a great example
I'm struggling to do exactly that
But the deeds overwhelm at times

Mind Games

Today, or rather, the past 48 hours has been full of thinking, planning, strategizing, understanding or not quite grasping certain things. I guess when I think about it, everyday really is like that. I had my first +PPD test (skin test for TB) which freaks me out to no end because I have decided to take the preventive medications. I have not worked out in more than 3 months and I had a knife-like pain in my chest which scared me even the more. Health scares just plain bother me. Now I feel like I need to get my cholesterol level checked out too.

That's jsut the beginning and end of the day but in between, I had plenty to keep me occupied. From here says to actual verifiable information; it has been quite a full 48 hours. In all of it, I found myself taking in a deep breathe and saying a prayer every now and then. I compared my reactions to situations from a year ago to currently and I realized I have come very far. I am still passionate and a little hot headed at times, especially if anyone or anything I love is threathened or disrespected. But the hubby has indeed rubbed off on me. I am becoming cool like him!...hehe

Perhaps that's just not it. I am learning to let God take absolute control of every aspect of my life so that I do not limit him to just a certain area. Imagine being given a manual by an inventor/designer and then when it came to assembling the part, you would try and do it however you want but only ask the creator for instructions when you were in a bind. Meanwhile he looked on with much agony over your countless mistakes yet he never ceased to give you the right direction when you asked. That's what I am trying to avoid. I want to consult the creator and his manual first before attempting to assemble my parts.

I admit, I do need help figuring out which bolt or screw goes where. Most of all, I need help in remembering to as for help!

Paradigms Shifted

In conclusion...

We all are pilgrims
On this road of hills and plains

Forget your differences
It might make your load lighter

Fellow travellers we will remain
Extend your self to another's self

The Proverbs 31 woman!

This proverb always makes me think about my mama and the kind of woman I aspire to be. Happy Mothers' day to all the women who have earned the right to be called "Mama". Some of you may not have children but blessings on you for being wise and nurturing!

Here's my favorite part of Proverbs 31:-


25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Shifting Paradigms

They say they are chosen,
Predestined, so to speak
I know I am tagged
The good book does say we're joint heirs

You speak what you've been taught
Without giving it much thought
Perhaps you might want to ponder over
Those values instilled, with much scrutiny

Paradigm Shift

She said she's white and I am black
How does she know she's not color blind?

He thinks he's there and I am here
How does he know he's not here and I, over there?

... to be continued

Fellow Travellers

Extend yourself to another's self
That's the beginning of Love
God took the initiative
And extended His self to man


... to be continued

Sunny Days

I have had enough of the stinky mood already. Sunnier days are ahead and I intend to enjoy myself fully! My fridge got fixed and I'm a happier resident :) I wish I had a 2 week all expenses paid vacation :P Now that would be the life!

Anyways back to reality; Looks like it is going to be an early Christmas for me 'cos Santa(my dad) is coming to town! I am doing my happy dance soon as I'm done typing. I haven't seen my daddy since January 2, 2008! Aaaarrrggghhhh... the hustle of living on a different continent. It is going to be an amazing weekend!

God Bless y'all through this mid week and the weekend! Hugs

Rants

I usually try to overlook the things which irritate me to no end and try to adopt an attitude of gratitude instead but my apartment management irritate me to no end! Grrr... I got locked out of my apartment because I lost my keys at Target (one of my favorite places to pick up random sale items! hehe). I called the apartment people to come and open the door for me and I was told I would be charged $35 dollars for that! Okay, come open the door. I'm not going to sleep outside because of $35! The custodian or whatever he is, sends his son to come and open the door and my spare key, which is with them at their office is not given to me because they are not opened at the time. Why am I being charged $35 dollars if you're still keeping my spare key?

Come Monday these people keep calling me to come and pay $35. That's not even what irritates me the most. I have had problems with my fridge since I moved here in November. I don't even know how many times I have put in a maintenance request to have it checked out since then. My lease is almost up and still nobody has come to fix what is wrong but they have the nerve to demand $35! Grrr... It makes me mad that I have to pay for it. Just had to let that off my chest.