Walking side by side

These past few years have had their fair share of bliss
There have been moments of pain in this dark abyss
Unspoken words in times of fear
You've been my comfort through it, dear
Today the fourth year begins
Maybe we might yet make our twins
I know how much that scares you
That's no cause for you to be blue ;p
Wherever life takes us
We'll be ready in this mess,
This three strand cord
Him, you and I with one accord

Happy anniversary to my Honey Boo!

Love Culture

I feel your love
I'm experiencing the thrill
I am caught up in this
The heaviness of this wave
That's tossing me and bending me
Beneath its warm and powerful curl
I'm loving this
This ride of a lifetime
Don't know when or how
It does not matter to me
I am fully aware that you are in this
All I can do is stare
Allow it to take over my mind, body, soul
Hmm, the way you love me
This has become my way of life

Annyong!

So for the past month I have been a little busy. It's not so much been with work or life per se. I have been busy watching soaps. I don't mean the kind that go on for a lifetime. Just simple lovely drama that is relatable and gives me pure joy! I think one of the reasons why I got hooked on these dramas was the same reason why I got hooked on Twilight. It made me remember how I felt when I started dating and all the joys and thrills, the fears and insecurities I experienced.

My current obsession with Kdramas (Korean drama) started after I was blog surfing one day and came across a review of one such drama and the rest is pretty much history. I was sold hook, line and sinker. If you're looking for something refreshing other than the everyday "sexified" drama we see on our TVs, then you are welcome to the wonderful world of K Drama. You can thank me later ;p

Night Sky

We lifted off into the dark night
Past the jet black clouds onto another dark lit stage
Stars hang up in the background to give it some character
This metal bird was way up in the sky
And I felt so small suddenly
I stared deep into the darkness as if willing Him to appear
There in the horizon, behind thick dark clouds
Peeped beautiful silvery ones
What a wonder to behold in this blanket of darkness
Very soon we make our downward descent
From these lofty heights one fluffy dark cloud at a time
City lights begin to permeate this comforting gloom
How thankful I am to be in awe of Your wonders :)

Keep it hot!

Just a few days ago, a friend of mine was lamenting about keeping it hot between her and her man and balancing all that with work and kids. It was more like a complaint about monotony of being in a monogamous relationship. It kind of made me sad for a minute but I guess to a certain extent it can be a little tedious for luck of trying to keep the romance alive. She said "We dated for five years and have been married the rest". I have my personal opinions but I wonder what other people think? What has kept people going? What are some of the resources out there? Over the past few months, these websites( love actually and the intimate couple ) have been great resources for me.

Sometimes, some of the suggestions from these helpful tools may seem pretty trivial and even silly but I figure with the amount of effort I put in at work, if I try to put that much into my marriage, I can't go wrong at all :) I hope everyone is having a great week! Blessings!

Obsessive compulsion

Has any thought ever consumed your whole being so much so that it is all you can think about day in and day out? The idea or thought or feeling just plagues you to the point where you are absolutely and completely blinded by anything else and even when you are able to think clearly, it is not without glimpses of the very idea/thought clouding your vision! No? No one has ever had that happen to them? Oh boy, I'm in trouble then! hahaha

By the way, hair update coming soon! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, refer to this post. Hope everyone is having an amazing week! Blessings!

The Walk

She sashays, she sways

Head high, no lye

They stare, at her hair

She cares less, for their guess

She sashays, she sways

One step, no misstep

Determined, to be awakened

Life anew, as she grew

She sashays, she sways

His providence, her new confidence

Just as she is, that is His biz

The Creator’s translator

She sashays, she sways

Head high, as they come nigh

They wonder, at her personality

She ponders, it’s a mentality

She sashays, she sways

Slight grin on her face

She is here to stay

Within His grace

Copyright ©2009 Maxine Mosley Totoe



Back to the basics

I've been reminded again of what my life's focus has been these past few years. Ever heard of the saying "the will of God will never take You where the grace of God will not protect you"? What does it really mean to be in the will of God. We always pray "Your will be done on earth..." but do we ever mean it in that sense?

I think most people are usually hung up on the notion that surely their will is their God's will and ofcourse He wants for them whatever they want. Some of my favorite verses in the Bible include the part where Jesus was praying in the garden of Gethsemane before the betrayal and crucifixion. In Luke 22:42 he asked his father if this intended fate could be taken away from him but the most amazing part is that he prayed "not my will but Yours be done". Aren't you glad he let the father's will be done? Otherwise you and I know that our salvation will for sure not have been complete!

I have been so put off lately by the kind of prosperity preaching and inspirational mantras thrown around by preachers lately. Some of them make it seem like if you go through a difficulty in this life then God has failed you. Seriously! When are we going to return to our manual for life (mine's the Bible) and realize that His grace is sufficient for us and in times of difficulty we can proudly say with conviction "I know it seems like my whole world is crumbling right now, yet Your will be done?" Even if I don't see any positives right now, yet will I praise You because it's in Your will for me to be in this moment, right now.

Just wondering if you have thought about His Will and if you are in His will at all.

Feline Life

I was reading a book (The Ambler Warning- Robert Ludlum) and came accross the saying "Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought her back". Now that just made my smile very broad indeed!

Alright people, time of the year to make sure you're feeling your TATAS for lumps and bumps before you leave home with them pumped up! I know to some of you this is quite a foreign notion but if you don't know what to look out for, how can you know if there's something that's not supposed to be there? Go ahead and take care of them boobies :) Get curious about them and you might end up saving your life!

Let's Eat Cake

Another year is here

Haven't even thought about eating cake

I want some anti-aging eye cream

And perhaps a botox injection or two
Trying to slow down this process

Maybe I'll give Priscilla Presley some competition

But really what good will those do me?

If some soul searching has not taken place...

Have I lived the year as best as I could

Did I give of myself as much as I could

Deep thoughts and prvocative questions

Hmm... I'll by all means have some cake :)

Say what?

I got done getting ready and took one last look in the mirror and thought to myself "self, you look good tonight". Now if you're like me, you have those "ugly" days or days when you feel like even if God slapped a bow on you, you'd still look like sponge bob. (can you tell I'm not a fan of the yellow sponge that lives under the sea?)

Anyways, so the intention as I went on my merry way was not necessarily to turn heads but I figured a few compliments might be nice so wore my sensible heels, put on my favorite lip gloss in the car and touched up my mascara. The darn thing nearly took my eye out. Next time I'm in need of a weapon I might remember to use it. I arrived at my destination and everyone was in flip lops! Seriously! Did I miss the memo that this was a beach party? I'm talking dirty-half-worn-out flip flops! If this does not bother you, then you probably live in the Midwest!

Hanging out with a group of women looking like a bunch of thirteen year old boys is not my idea of fun times. Some people seem to think that in order to put the effort into looking nice another human being has to be the object of that effort. That just absolutely bothers me. Can I just do things for me just because it feels great? Or is that too selfish? It physically drains me to see women looking frumpy all the time. Can you at least pretend to care? Come on, live a little!

Routinization of Disaster

Click cluck click cluck
Goes the sound of her shoes
In and out just like that
Sense of urgency about what she does

"Be right back"
Click Cluck; there she goes again

Back in the twinkling of an eye

Listens, prods, touches, a smile!

Click cluck click cluck

Eight lives all in her hands

Fast bouncy strides she makes

You couldn't tell she wants to cry again

Bladder quivering
Dry as parched land

Not a moment to sit through it all

Finally to sit and chart it all

Dedicated to all the Nurses who bend over backwards for the people they are entrusted with, who endure the abuse and misuse the system dishes out and still manage to make it look like a glorified profession. Click Cluck On!

What is in a name?

Usually when I meet people for the first time, the conversation goes something like this:

Stranger: Hi, I'm  -----, it's nice to meet you.

Me : Hi, I'm Maxine, very pleased to meet you.

Are you ever tempted to use a different name? After all, you might never meet this stranger again. As you have guessed already, my name is Maxine. Maxine is an english name of Latin origin and the feminine form of Max and it means "the greatest". Uhm, how awesome is that? Hello! I was named after a Baptist Missionary who's service in Ghana was so exceptional that my parents fell in love with her servant spirit! I still keep in touch with her and she's like another grandma to me. Guess what too? She is a Nurse! I had no idea what profession she was untill my second year in Nursing school! Coincidence?

Now seriously though if you're African like myself, you know the the meaning of your name has a bearing on the kind of person you are expected to be in life and you had better live up to it. It always buffles me when people tell me their names because I immediately wonder what it means. I love being a Maxine even though it is a really old name :) Hopefully the name will make a comeback soon. I already have about 3 Maxine's named after me! Have you ever wondered if you would act or live differently if your name had been different than what you have now?

What do you think is in a name? Has your name had any impact on your life?

My Beautiful One

How lovely are

My thoughts of you today

As you go about

Your daily activity

There will be several voices

Some for and some misconstrued

Also many guesses

Concerning your value, true

Whatever is noble or kind

However mean or brush

Remember to not be confined

Or conclude in a rush

Keep your head up child

Shine and be a beacon

All your fears exiled

'Cos you're my beautiful one

The Burden of Representing...

Have you ever experienced role conflict to the point where you need a new name for role strain? Have you ever felt like you need to represent everywhere you go? Case scenario: you start a new job and you're the only black/white/asian/middle eastern/christian/young/old etc person in there. Everyday is a struggle to wake up, find your work gear and get your behind to work. Everyone has prejudices and stereotypes and so you feel the need to represent all black people whether African American, Caribbean or African. In that work place you have become the black person. In certain places you might feel the need to represent all women or all men depending on your gender.

I sometimes wonder if anyone has felt like that before. I remember back in college when they would talk about issues concerning Africa or black people in general and I'd feel like a million eyes were on me. I always felt like I had to push myself extra hard because I was the only dark skinned girl in a class of 60 students. Should I have been stressed out?

Growing up I was the pastor's kid and you know "you gotta represent!" You can't be like any of the "other" kids and throw a tantrum when you can't get your way. No marm, that is absolutely not acceptable. You had to be on your best behavior everywhere you went. No wonder some PK's (pastors kids) eventually cracked open and it was not a pretty site when they did!

Right now, I still am the single black female in a certain role. I see myself as older and wiser and don't feel the pressure to represent anyone but myself and ofcourse to bring glory to my maker. There are times when I feel the burden of representing everyone of the groups or roles which I associate myself with but at least now I understand that to be my best or for a certain defined role to bring out the best in me is not so bad after all :)

brainless

A tweet by Rick Warren went like this: Some people are so open-minded their brains fall out! I laughed for almost a minute as I tried to visualize opening up your mind and having your precious brain escape out of that insane asylum! I have a very active imagination. Almost every sentence I hear conjures up images in my mind. It is quite a blessing most of the time. Anyways, back to the initial tweet.

Is our society becoming too open minded that we embrace any and everything in the spirit of being the most understanding, the worldliest or the most learned? I sometimes wonder if half the things we accept are as a result of wanting to fit into today's world. We all know the world is fast becoming a global village but is this globalization costing us our values and morals?

Of course I want to be open minded. Actually, I am open minded but in the way that I want to love and serve without restraint and not compromise who I am. I know that in doing so, I allow others to influence me as well but I hope that in my contact with others, I would leave  a lasting and profound impression.

My favorite book says that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. In every single act you engage in, make sure you limit your freedom so that another person's freedom is not infringed on. As I've stated before, your freedom ends where another's begin.

So go ahead and be open minded but be careful you don't lose your brain or yet still that another's brain jumps into the space left! After all, garbage in, garbage out! Word!

excitement

As the title reads, I am way too excited to blog! My parents have been here since the 3rd and it has been such a blessed time! They rock my world absolutely! I have been reminded of His grace and mercies! The lyrics of this song sums up what I'm feeling! Thank You Lord!

I’m running back to your promises one more time,
Lord that’s all I can hold on to,
 I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises you.


Before a heartache can ever touch my life,
 it has to go through Your hands,
 And even though I keep asking why,
 I keep asking why.

No matter what, I’m gonna love You,
No matter what I’m gonna need You,
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not,
I’ll trust you, no matter what, no matter what.

When I’m stuck and there’s nothing else by myself,
 I’m just sitting in silence,
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it.
I know You have Your reasons for everything, so I will keep believing,
 Whatever I might be feeling, God you are my hope, and you will be my strength,

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s OK if You don’t,
I’m not here for those things, the touch of Your love is enough on its own,
No matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You

Kerrie Roberts =)

Discontent is the remedy to greatness

I get a little emotional sometimes. Okay, that is an understatement. I get majorly emotional when I feel like I am being treated unfairly. But that's just it. Feelings! They come and go and change our whole perspective on everything in life. I used to believe in people's ability to be and act fairly but I stopped a little while ago. People will always act in their own interest to the detriment of other people's interests. But as the saying goes, your freedom ends where another person's begin. So in exercising our freedom, we must be careful that we do not step on other people's toes.

I have come to realize without a doubt that my God is the only constant in this life! That is such a blessed assurance! I feel quite discontent in a certain area of my life. Without this discontent, I can imagine that I will be stuck here for a long time but thank God for it. I pray that I burn no bridges in the process because I might need those bridges someday! Quietly and patiently trying to forge a way forward :)

the expert jerk

Huff and puff

To show your arrogance
Scream loud and long
To display your ignorance

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was just thinking about high school and all the mean and cool people who influenced my life there. If you went to boarding school in Ghana or somewhere else in the world, then you possibly experienced the kind of hazing that is popular in these settings. Some people may argue that it was meant to toughen us up. That may be true in a sense but it used to bug me when people in a higher grade would just be blatantly mean!

The thing is, after high school when everyone is all grown up and doing their own thing, these people tend to think they can just all of a sudden become friends with you! AAARRRGGHHHHH! It kind of makes me mad you know. No you meanie, I don't want to be friends with you!...he he... It makes me even "madder" when they add you on facebook like you were their long lost buddy! Uhm...get lost, you jerk face! Sometimes I want to remind them of how mean they used to be you know. I guess at some point they probably realize it is much better to be a nicer person in life. If you used to be a meanie in high school, shame on you! lol

Temporary Visitor~

So if you read this blog you probably know that I moved down south. Anyways, I recently changed my license plate and my drivers license to that of the State I'm in. My driver's license came back and I was amused and pained to see that it was a vertical license!Yikes! Vertical License with Temporary Visitor stamped in red and also includes the date when your legal status will expire! Do I even need a passport anymore? lol...

People were outraged by the laws of Arizona but the silent ones in Texas are equally if not more outrageous! Another reminder that I do not belong in this place and will therefore be treated like a second class citizen everywhere I go. I have started bracing myself for the questions to follow whenever anyone asks me about my license. Recently, when I was in Michigan, a sales associate asked how my stay in the States was going so far. Temporary Visitor after living on this land for freaking 8 years? How long did it take 'em to get rid of the American Indians who were occupying the place before they took over? mmmcheeewww...lol

It is apparently supposed to help stop terrorism and illegal immigration but who told these people that the target group will be deterred? I am just sick of answering these stupid questions about where I am from. I guess my consolation is that next time anyone asks me where I am from again, the answer will be "the little country that kicked your behinds outta the world cup 2 times in a row"...lol... Can you tell I'm bitter? Just hormones I tell you, hormones!

Facebook shenanigans

Every now and then something on facebook pushes me to the edge and I just want to close my account but I always realize that in doing so, I am allowing an external force to determine my behaviour. I decided to remain proactive and not reactive to everything around me so I have kept that account but every now and then I clean house! I usually get rid of the people who are negative, quarrelsome and disrespectful to me and my ideals.

Just this morning one such person was hating on another for getting somewhere in their eduction and mocking them for taking so long to where they are! Really? Since when did trying to get ahead in life become a crime? When are black people going to stop with the PHD(Pull Him/Her Down) syndrome? I was utterly disgusted.

May each of us find the courage and the grace to support others who are far better than us. We have to learn to be content with our lot because someone will always be prettier, faster, smarter, taller and way better than we are!

My Love Your Love

I'm sure we all have that someone we just can not wait to talk to when s#!+ hits the ceiling. For me, I first say a calm little prayer to my Father who knows all my needs and then call the hubby! I need to find other people to unload on! hehe... I am thankful for my love and his words of wisdom every single time I feel like acting a little unchristian. Thanks Honey!

Your love is pure
Your love is precious
Your love is all I need
Your love surrounds me
Your love astounds me
Your love is everything

I run to You
When my heart is weak
I cling to You You’re all I seek
It’s my heart’s desire to be close to You
Here in Your arms I find my strength

Everything I want everything I hope in
(You're)Everything my heart cries out for

by Kari Jobe

You there

I try, all day long
To sit and reminisce
On all you do for me


I try, every single moment
To express the gratitude
That's overflowing in my heart

I try, to understand you
To feel you entirely,
I'll be content with who you are

I try, but not hard enough
To make it all known
But I have not lived long enough

Puzzle, fuzzle, buzzle

Thoughts in a puddle
Love the sinner, loathe the sin
How do you identify the sinner
It says "by their deeds, ye shall know 'em"

Is that what He did when he loved me first?
Identified me, loved me all the same
In spite of my questionable identity
My telltale sins did not hinder Him

Love the sinner, loathe the sins
I've been left a great example
I'm struggling to do exactly that
But the deeds overwhelm at times

Mind Games

Today, or rather, the past 48 hours has been full of thinking, planning, strategizing, understanding or not quite grasping certain things. I guess when I think about it, everyday really is like that. I had my first +PPD test (skin test for TB) which freaks me out to no end because I have decided to take the preventive medications. I have not worked out in more than 3 months and I had a knife-like pain in my chest which scared me even the more. Health scares just plain bother me. Now I feel like I need to get my cholesterol level checked out too.

That's jsut the beginning and end of the day but in between, I had plenty to keep me occupied. From here says to actual verifiable information; it has been quite a full 48 hours. In all of it, I found myself taking in a deep breathe and saying a prayer every now and then. I compared my reactions to situations from a year ago to currently and I realized I have come very far. I am still passionate and a little hot headed at times, especially if anyone or anything I love is threathened or disrespected. But the hubby has indeed rubbed off on me. I am becoming cool like him!...hehe

Perhaps that's just not it. I am learning to let God take absolute control of every aspect of my life so that I do not limit him to just a certain area. Imagine being given a manual by an inventor/designer and then when it came to assembling the part, you would try and do it however you want but only ask the creator for instructions when you were in a bind. Meanwhile he looked on with much agony over your countless mistakes yet he never ceased to give you the right direction when you asked. That's what I am trying to avoid. I want to consult the creator and his manual first before attempting to assemble my parts.

I admit, I do need help figuring out which bolt or screw goes where. Most of all, I need help in remembering to as for help!

Paradigms Shifted

In conclusion...

We all are pilgrims
On this road of hills and plains

Forget your differences
It might make your load lighter

Fellow travellers we will remain
Extend your self to another's self

The Proverbs 31 woman!

This proverb always makes me think about my mama and the kind of woman I aspire to be. Happy Mothers' day to all the women who have earned the right to be called "Mama". Some of you may not have children but blessings on you for being wise and nurturing!

Here's my favorite part of Proverbs 31:-


25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Shifting Paradigms

They say they are chosen,
Predestined, so to speak
I know I am tagged
The good book does say we're joint heirs

You speak what you've been taught
Without giving it much thought
Perhaps you might want to ponder over
Those values instilled, with much scrutiny

Paradigm Shift

She said she's white and I am black
How does she know she's not color blind?

He thinks he's there and I am here
How does he know he's not here and I, over there?

... to be continued

Fellow Travellers

Extend yourself to another's self
That's the beginning of Love
God took the initiative
And extended His self to man


... to be continued

Sunny Days

I have had enough of the stinky mood already. Sunnier days are ahead and I intend to enjoy myself fully! My fridge got fixed and I'm a happier resident :) I wish I had a 2 week all expenses paid vacation :P Now that would be the life!

Anyways back to reality; Looks like it is going to be an early Christmas for me 'cos Santa(my dad) is coming to town! I am doing my happy dance soon as I'm done typing. I haven't seen my daddy since January 2, 2008! Aaaarrrggghhhh... the hustle of living on a different continent. It is going to be an amazing weekend!

God Bless y'all through this mid week and the weekend! Hugs

Rants

I usually try to overlook the things which irritate me to no end and try to adopt an attitude of gratitude instead but my apartment management irritate me to no end! Grrr... I got locked out of my apartment because I lost my keys at Target (one of my favorite places to pick up random sale items! hehe). I called the apartment people to come and open the door for me and I was told I would be charged $35 dollars for that! Okay, come open the door. I'm not going to sleep outside because of $35! The custodian or whatever he is, sends his son to come and open the door and my spare key, which is with them at their office is not given to me because they are not opened at the time. Why am I being charged $35 dollars if you're still keeping my spare key?

Come Monday these people keep calling me to come and pay $35. That's not even what irritates me the most. I have had problems with my fridge since I moved here in November. I don't even know how many times I have put in a maintenance request to have it checked out since then. My lease is almost up and still nobody has come to fix what is wrong but they have the nerve to demand $35! Grrr... It makes me mad that I have to pay for it. Just had to let that off my chest.

Lessons from the Folks

She is always modest
She hardly wears any makeup
Let alone fancy outfits
She had a fro at some point
And she always said "look your best and wear a smile"
"Even if you're wearing rugs, wear it with dignity"

He has never made much money
He chose to serve for a crown unseen
Yet His faith keeps him going
No stress lines 'cos he's blessed
Never disappointed 'cos he's anointed
He always said "Live, love, leave a legacy"

Got that spring in my step from Mama
That caring spirit from my Daddy
Your words may be intended to cut me down
But theirs was intended to lift me up
They labored for me sake,
So your opinions could take second place

For My folks!

Via Dolorosa

It's here again; that time of year where I think about why someone would die in my place and why someone whould want to save my soul from eternal damnation. What kind of love is that? If I had been going the "way of grief/sorrow (via dolorosa) and seen the compassion and contempt on the faces of the people, would I still have had any ounce of kindness and love in me to go and lay down my life?

I am thankful that He had to do it 'cos left to man alone, there would have been no salvation only vengeance! I am thankful that His grace is sufficient for me. I know some people do not believe any of this happened and others believe the stories are just myths but whatever the case may be, I am convinced in my belief that He is the Lord of my life, that the punishment that brought me peace was laid on Him and that He has afforded me the right to be confident because he has conquered all my fears already! That may very well be my opiate but what's yours? What gives you inner peace and joy that nothing can shake?

Thank God

satisfaction

Lately, I've been wondering if I am satisfied with the direction my career is going? There's days when I don't mind where I'm at currently and there are other times when I really could care less. I want to be at that point where no matter the circumstance, I am absolutely loving what I am doing.

Nursing can get a little dark and dreary at times especially when you see all the suffering going on around you. It gets a little depressing. I don't want to get to that point where I am so desensitized to the suffering that everything becomes so routine. I need to sit and re-evaluate.

On a much happier note, summer is just around the corner! I am going to be working throughout the summer but just the thought of sunny days makes me happy! Wherever, you are, I hope you're all having a fabulous day. Thank God that Spring has sprung!

Always there

He showed me again,

In the most vivid sunrise,

With hues of blues and oranges,

Shades of Yellows and reds.

It was as if He was saying

"Gently, my love beckons, yet firmly holds you still"

Until I was awash in the warm glow of that sunrise!

Mine, what content!

Free forever!

Happy Independence Day to all the Ghanaians out there!
"At long last, the battle has ended,
and thus Ghana our Beloved country is free forever"
- Nkrumah, 6th March, 1957

I love how he urged people to change their attitude and their minds. Being held captive or being ruled for a long time seems to make it difficult for people to break free from that bondage and be pace setters. I hope Nkrumah's message on that night continues to resound in our hearts.


God bless our homeland Ghana,
And make our nation great and strong,
Bold to defend forever
The cause of Freedom and of Right.
Fill our hearts with true humility
Make us cherish fearless honesty,
And help us to resist oppressors' rule
With all our will and might evermore.

God Bless y'all!

Forever heart

Loves me more and more
Tell me frequently
Today it was through that sunshine
Yesterday it was through that sweet smile
I wonder how You'll show me tomorrow
Some days the clouds block out the sun
Sometimes it is difficult to recognize the smile
No matter how You show me teach me to live in that moment

Sweetest Day!

Happy Valentine's day Y'all! I know it's a little late but I hope someone was super nice or sweet to you today! I have always felt a little weird about this day. Sometimes I don't know whether to love it or hate it. The commercial side of it is unbelievable! Half my church was wearing red, countless numbers of people at the cinema were wearing red or pink. People had tacky heart shirts on etc... It gets a little nauseating and overwhelming :S

In spite of that, I think it is important for people to remember to be nice and sweet to each other and if it take this one day to remember to do that, then so be it :) I think sometimes in our lives, we forget to appreciate and really love on the people who mean the most to us. Maybe this is the day on which most of us actually sit to think about going out of our way to be nice to those who have been there for us all year long. Hopefully, that is true for you too.

If you're reading this, thanks for visiting my blog and for always checking it even if I don't have any updates for days and days! Happy Valentines Day! Don't forget to brush your teeth before going to bed! Come on, you know I had to throw in a healthy tit bit! Hugs

You Don't Know Me

Let me be myself

Not the preacher's kid
Not her sister

Not your friend

Not my man's woman

Let me be myself

Not the black girl from Africa

Not the little girl who's no more

Not the buddy you hang with

Just...

Let me be myself

Not my father's daughter
Not my uncle's niece

Not my teacher's student

I just wanna ...

Be myself

A child created in His image

Just who I am

Exactly what He intends me to be

... HIS child.

(written a million years ago when I was a freshman in college!)

Future

Candle light dancing in the wind

Their shadows bouncing off my walls

Thinking of yesterdays and yester years

Amazing memories sweetly teasing my senses

With their flirtatious sway

And titillating movements

Gently lulling me to dream land

Promising yesterdays, hopeful tomorrows

Leaving the lovely past behind

Dancing its way back to reality

Giving me strength for today

Innocence

I saw a lovely blue and white looking top

It really did appeal to me so I took a closer look

And discovered right under the racks, a lovely little girl

She could not be a day older than four, I thought

Oh what a sweet innocent cutie pie,

At first I thought she was lost or needed some help

Then I realized in disbelief

She was frantically tearing the price tag off

She looked up as her sister came closer to her hiding place

She daintily placed the band on her head

Linked her little hands with her sisters,

And they skipped on their merry way out

You can imagine my shock at this spectacle

I was so shocked I could hardly move.

The little thief! She made away with the headband

Obviously, her sister was aware!

I forgot all about the top and slowly left the shop

My vision of innocence shattered for the day

By the lovely little thief!

My Yesterday

Picture taken somewhere between Arkansas and Texas!

Impulsively, I almost closed this blog! I was a little annoyed and I have been known to act without thinking too much about it sometimes. Again, my only excuse is I'm short and my heart is way closer to my head so sometimes it doesn't take long to process things at all. When things make me mad, I tend to either ignore, recoil and rebound or totally shut down. I guess as part of my New Year's resolution, I will even be more fearless and vocal about what I think although I am still going to keep my handwritten journal for personal matters which won't travel back to "family".

Anyway, the New year seems promising as usual. I love new beginnings! It always makes me happy :) HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! May you be fearless and bold in what you believe in! May you be absolutely compassionate in your dealings in everyday life! Hugs, Maxine :)